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Hall of Classics>I'm on a mission to shit
Hammock Parties 11:46 AM 05-19-2014
Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 06:10 PM 05-19-2014
got some gurgling...little rumbling....is this it!??
[Reply]
LoneWolf 06:11 PM 05-19-2014
Less memes more shitting. Hurry up.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 06:12 PM 05-19-2014
brb


[Reply]
New World Order 06:13 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by Count Zarth:
brb



:-)
[Reply]
htismaqe 06:13 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by Count Zarth:
No shit?
Yes, absolutely.

Opium-derived painkillers cause constipation for just about everybody that takes them. It's one of the top 2 or 3 most common side effects. I never mentioned it before because I figured you already knew that.
[Reply]
htismaqe 06:13 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by LoneWolf:
C'mon, shit fucker. I have to teach a class in 30 minutes and I don't want to have to keep pulling up ChiefsPlanet on the big screen during the class.
:-)
[Reply]
Dayze 06:14 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by Dante84:
You should go get your colon cleansed.

They put a hose in your butt, spray all up in it, and then it shoots out like a chocolate fountain (but into a hose, I think).
"I think "

lol
[Reply]
LoneWolf 06:16 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by Count Zarth:
brb


[Reply]
ghak99 06:18 PM 05-19-2014
Try squeezing your head.
[Reply]
T-Town 06:18 PM 05-19-2014
To the shit?
[Reply]
Hog's Gone Fishin 06:19 PM 05-19-2014
.Pulling for you Clay. Get that crap flowin
[Reply]
Dayze 06:23 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by ghak99:
Try squeezing your head.
:-)
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 06:30 PM 05-19-2014
Negative, negative. Just impacted on the surface.


[Reply]
TribalElder 06:35 PM 05-19-2014
Did you hear about the mathematician who solved the problem of constipation?
[Reply]
eDave 06:36 PM 05-19-2014
Join us in chat!
[Reply]
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