ChiefsPlanet Mobile
Page 13 of 24
« First < 3910111213 1415161723 > Last »
Hall of Classics>I'm on a mission to shit
Hammock Parties 11:46 AM 05-19-2014
Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
[Reply]
htismaqe 05:39 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by T-Town:
Epsom salt works for me everytime.
Magnesium citrate has essentially the same effect (Epsom salts are actually magnesium sulfate) and it tastes a bit better.
[Reply]
J Diddy 05:43 PM 05-19-2014
Ask for the suppository laxative and don't chicken out like I did. Make the nurse insert it
[Reply]
lcarus 05:46 PM 05-19-2014
Is it from the pain pill?
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 05:47 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by lcarus:
Is it from the pain pill?
I guess. At this point if I can deal with the pain tonight I'm going to sleep without it.
[Reply]
htismaqe 05:51 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by Count Zarth:
I guess. At this point if I can deal with the pain tonight I'm going to sleep without it.
If you're taking an opioid/opiate painkiller, that's definitely a potential source of your problem.
[Reply]
JoeyChuckles 05:51 PM 05-19-2014
What's an indian bean? Sounds racist.
[Reply]
lcarus 05:52 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by Count Zarth:
I guess. At this point if I can deal with the pain tonight I'm going to sleep without it.
Yeah those pain killers will clog you up. Especially them percocets.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 05:53 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by JoeyChuckles:
What's an indian bean? Sounds racist.
Looks the same going in as coming out...


[Reply]
Hammock Parties 05:54 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by htismaqe:
If you're taking an opioid/opiate painkiller, that's definitely a potential source of your problem.
No shit?
[Reply]
lcarus 05:55 PM 05-19-2014
No shit at all
[Reply]
Buzz 05:58 PM 05-19-2014
When I had knee surgery I didn't crap for 5 days and they wouldn't let me out of the hospital untll I did. I finally crapped a baseball size turd and it hurt like hell!
[Reply]
Dante84 06:03 PM 05-19-2014
You should go get your colon cleansed.

They put a hose in your butt, spray all up in it, and then it shoots out like a chocolate fountain (but into a hose, I think).
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 06:05 PM 05-19-2014
Got some pressure building...
[Reply]
LoneWolf 06:07 PM 05-19-2014
C'mon, shit fucker. I have to teach a class in 30 minutes and I don't want to have to keep pulling up ChiefsPlanet on the big screen during the class.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 06:09 PM 05-19-2014

[Reply]
Page 13 of 24
« First < 3910111213 1415161723 > Last »
Up