Saying he sleepwalks through life until the next opportunity arises to savor tangy, slow-cooked meats, sources confirmed Tuesday local man Evan Demers spends his days occasionally eating barbecue in between doing things he hates.
“He works really long hours at a job he despises, constantly complains about his family, and doesn’t even seem to enjoy being around his friends—to be honest, the only time I’ve seen him satisfied is when there happens to be a slab of short ribs or a pulled pork sandwich in front of him,” longtime Demers acquaintance Russ Perkins said of the man who reportedly exists in a state of continuous irritability that is only interrupted at random intervals when, for a brief period, he is actively biting or chewing such food items as brisket, smoked chicken, baked beans, or cornbread.
“You can tell he’s just going through the motions of life and is pretty miserable. He did seem to snap out of it a little when that new barbecue place opened near his house a couple years back. It closed after a few months, though.”
At press time, reports stated that Demers was staring at an empty plate, licking the remnants of a vinegar-based sauce from his thumb, and trying to summon enough motivation to load the dishwasher.
Originally Posted by Hammock Parties:
Oh my. LoneWolf showing his ass again.
Are you fucking kidding me? I posted asking why a stupid Onion article was thread worthy and here comes methrouser being a fucking asshole. Am I just supposed to let that walking cautionary tale just take shots at me without responding? [Reply]
Originally Posted by LoneWolf:
Are you fucking kidding me? I posted asking why a stupid Onion article was thread worthy and here comes methrouser being a fucking asshole. Am I just supposed to let that walking cautionary tale just take shots at me without responding?
You deleted your posts because you were embarrassed by them.
Originally Posted by Hammock Parties:
You deleted your posts because you were embarrassed by them.
Own this L.
Pretty revolting.
I actually only wanted to delete one of them because it posted twice, but for some reason it deleted both posts. Trust me, I’m not embarrassed by anything I post to that fucking loser. I’m sure he’ll cry to the mods to have me banned again, but if you check the history he more often than not starts shit with me. [Reply]
Originally Posted by LoneWolf:
I actually only wanted to delete one of them because it posted twice, but for some reason it deleted both posts. Trust me, I’m not embarrassed by anything I post to that ****ing loser. I’m sure he’ll cry to the mods to have me banned again, but if you check the history he more often than not starts shit with me.
You got yourself banned, you miserable old fuck. [Reply]