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Hall of Classics>The Declaration Of Independence, MO - The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel
Hammock Parties 02:57 AM 07-21-2012
The Declaration Of Independence, MO


The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel


When in the course of football events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the fandom bands which have connected them with a Quarterback, and to assume among the Powers of the NFL, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Football and of the NFL's Goodell entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Quarterbacks are not created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain Unalienable Talents, that among these are Arm Strength, Accuracy and the Pursuit of Championships.

That to secure these talents, Quarterbacks are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the Consent of the Fanbase, That whenever any Form of Quarterback becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Quarterbacks, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Attendance At Arrowhead and Hope For A Championship.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Quarterbacks Long Established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably The Same Offense evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to Throw Off Such Quarterbacks, and to provide new Guards (however, neither left nor right) for their Future Rooting Interests.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Chiefs Fans; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Offense. The history of the present Quarterback is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an Absolute Run-First Offense over the State of Missouri.


To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.


Cassel 3:16


Spoiler!


Playoff Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Winning Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Lacks Deep Passing Ability


Spoiler!


Cassel Makes Offensive Linemen Worse


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Good Defenses At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Elite Quarterbacks At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!



We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of Chiefs Fans, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme GM of Arrowhead for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Chiefs, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Chiefs fans are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent of Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel.

That they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Patriot Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of New England, is and ought to be totally dissolved.

And that as Free and Independent Chiefs Fans, they have full Power to levy Boos, conclude Peace, contract Alliances with Dwayne Bowe, establish Commerce with Top Five Picks, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Fans may of right do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Playoff Fortunes and our Sacred Fandom.


SIGN BELOW


This post made possible by SNR, Coogs and
The Gang Of 14.
Statistics compiled by ESPN, PFF and PFR

Dedicated to 'Hamas' Jenkins, our Patrick Henry, who said "Give Me Sanchez, Or Give Me Death."









For further details, please review
The Pioli Facts.

The Declaration has been updated with statistics from 2012 and FINALIZED. Remove Matt Cassel from Kansas City. FOREVER.

[Reply]
King_Chief_Fan 09:24 AM 07-23-2012
Originally Posted by Toad King:
:-)

I am not paid by the hour.

Cassel's hours, however, ARE NUMBERED.
but what is it that you do?
[Reply]
Dayze 09:26 AM 07-23-2012
what happens to Pioli if the Chiefs go 4-12, or 5-11 etc.?

will there be any change in his employment?
[Reply]
Fish 09:30 AM 07-23-2012
Originally Posted by OnTheWarpath58:
And stare down your receiver the entire time while doing so.
Not to mention, while staring down the receiver, he sees him getting blown the fuck up requiring him to do a spin move.... And STILL forces the ball to him.
[Reply]
ShowtimeSBMVP 09:31 AM 07-23-2012
Clay i got Jamie Dukes to RT this thread lol.


Gregory ‏@ChiefsOrioles12

@jamiedukes http://chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=261629 … Good read on just how bad cassel is can i get a RT
Retweeted by Jamie Dukes
[Reply]
rico 11:16 AM 07-23-2012
Originally Posted by ChiefsandO'sfan:
Clay i got Jamie Dukes to RT this thread lol.


Gregory ‏@ChiefsOrioles12

@jamiedukes http://chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=261629 Good read on just how bad cassel is can i get a RT
Retweeted by Jamie Dukes
:-)
[Reply]
BoneKrusher 11:36 AM 07-23-2012
Dukes kicks ass.
[Reply]
RealSNR 11:38 AM 07-23-2012
Originally Posted by splatbass:
I can't believe you guys are arguing for making assumptions without any facts. I guess on CP reason is a bad thing.
Do you also think we should bring back Sabby Piscatelli and give him another run-through?

I mean, by letting him go the team is making some terrible assumptions about his ability to play with a full offseason and familiarity with the playbook.

I would hope that a professional team like the Chiefs would be smart enough to deal only with the facts and not blind hate to determine if a guy can play or not play. But that's clearly not the case. Shame.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 01:41 PM 07-23-2012
Originally Posted by ChiefsandO'sfan:
Clay i got Jamie Dukes to RT this thread lol

Gregory ‏@ChiefsOrioles12

@jamiedukes http://chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=261629 … Good read on just how bad cassel is can i get a RT
Retweeted by Jamie Dukes

[Reply]
RealSNR 02:00 PM 07-23-2012
You know the saying, "You can use numbers and statistics to manipulate people and warp any truth?"

Okay. Use statistics to tell me that Cassel is a good QB.

It's an interesting critical thinking problem. One you would see at a gifted student classroom. There is no wrong or right answer.

I'm thinking. I'm really trying to attack this problem, and I don't think it has a solution. I don't think you can use numbers to tell that Cassel isn't a shitty QB. It's impossible. The only thing I've got is 27-7, and that's been attacked approximately 73 different ways by various posters.

If there exists no bright light in ANY of Cassel's numbers, is it possible for him to not suck?

I don't know, I'm genuinely asking.
[Reply]
DeezNutz 02:06 PM 07-23-2012
Originally Posted by SNR:
You know the saying, "You can use numbers and statistics to manipulate people and warp any truth?"

Okay. Use statistics to tell me that Cassel is a good QB.

It's an interesting critical thinking problem. One you would see at a gifted student classroom. There is no wrong or right answer.

I'm thinking. I'm really trying to attack this problem, and I don't think it has a solution. I don't think you can use numbers to tell that Cassel isn't a shitty QB. It's impossible. The only thing I've got is 27-7, and that's been attacked approximately 73 different ways by various posters.

If there exists no bright light in ANY of Cassel's numbers, is it possible for him to not suck?

I don't know, I'm genuinely asking.
Name the other QBs in league history to have back-to-back 400-yard games.
[Reply]
DeezNutz 02:09 PM 07-23-2012
Originally Posted by DeezNutz:
Name the other QBs in league history to have back-to-back 400-yard games.
Fouts
Marino
Simms
Warner
Volek
Cassel
Brees
Newton
Brady

Volek is clearly the outlier. The rest are high-quality QBs.
[Reply]
RealSNR 02:09 PM 07-23-2012
Originally Posted by DeezNutz:
Name the other QBs in league history to have back-to-back 400-yard games.
I mean, sure, I can name stuff like that I suppose. If Cassel did that with the Chiefs, I would absolutely use that in my thought exercise
[Reply]
DeezNutz 02:13 PM 07-23-2012
Originally Posted by SNR:
I mean, sure, I can name stuff like that I suppose. If Cassel did that with the Chiefs, I would absolutely use that in my thought exercise
It's absolutely the type of statistical evidence that one can use to paint Cassel as the victim of inept management and lackluster talent.

"The talent is clearly there."
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 02:20 PM 07-23-2012
It's easy to defend Cassel with stats.

"In years he wasn't saddled with a horrible supporting cast, or had his team suffer injuries, he has a magnificent 48 to 18 TD/INT ratio!"
[Reply]
Coogs 05:00 PM 07-23-2012
Originally Posted by Toad King:
IMPORTANT FACT #58106:

As a Chief, in games where Cassel's team rushes for less than 135 yards he is 5-17. In the five wins, Cassel's defense holds the opposition to an average of 15.4 points.
Boom! There it is! Good research TK!
[Reply]
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