Eleven Things About Today’s Game: Week 2, KC 23 - Bolts 20

11. Piece of cake. Had it all the way. Mahomes has never lost in September as a starter. He's now 9-0.

10. We’re having eleven things this week since we had to go into OT to pull this out of the fire. I wasn’t feeling good today and took a little nap during the Donks game. Knew Denver was going to lose when Lock got knocked out. Woke up right when Buttkicker opened the game. The first quarter was arguably the worst quarter the Chiefs have played under Andy Reid. Bolts trot out a pimply faced teenager named Herbie to face the World Champions in the opening of the swanky la-de-dah stadium they borrow from the Rams eight times a year. Apparently Tyrod -(seriously, who names their child after a stabilizer bar in a 1993 T-Bird?) - Tyrod pulls a Fred Sanford during warmups and checks out. So Herbie Wally Pipps him by throwing a TD and rushing for a TD. First time that’s been done in a rookie QB debut since 1954. We made him look good, but ultimately, he was just the new Phyllis.

9. Chiefs didn’t really start playing Chiefs football until the fourth quarter. In the first quarter, Bolts had the ball almost the entire quarter, they had the ball 10 minutes more than KC. Spags came up with a big stop. Eckeler ran for 93 and caught 55. Kelley ran for 64 and caught for 49. Bolts ran the ball 44 total times and threw for over 300 yards. Still by the time the game was over, Bolts just had 65 more yards of offense than KC. Both teams were less than 50% on third down conversions. This game reminded me a lot of the Detroit game last year, where things just didn’t work for a long time, but Mahomes and the offense hung in there. That’s the difference between being a division champ and a last place team.

8. There was a lot of bad in this one. We all know that. On defense, the opponent game plan was three simple steps: a) Run the ball against the Chiefs line. Chris Jones does not play the run. At all. b) Throw to the running backs and tight end and beat the Chiefs linebackers. They did that. All day long. c) Keep Mahomes off the field. Bolts did that until the fourth quarter. He had just enough time to tie it up in OT. Tackling today was abysmal. In my notes, I have bad whiffs by Thornhill, Jones, Neiman and Dirty Dan. Eckeler was especially bouncing off guys and going for more than half of his rushing yards after first contact. Defense came up in the second half when they had to, and gave Mahomes a chance. And we should have won before OT if not for the hold happy refs.

7. The crew chief today was a guy named Carl Chaffers. If that name sounds familiar, he’s the same guy who made the playoff crushing mystery holding call against Fisher in the Steelers playoff game at Arrowhead, where James Harrison won an Oscar to negate a TD at game end. Cheffers crew called KC for 11 penalties and 90 yards, including two holding calls in the last two minutes to force KC to kick a game tying field goal. They totally whiffed on a fourth quarter helmet to helmet hit on Sammy Watkins that put him in concussion protocol. Shameful that nobody got tossed for that hit. Looked to me like the NFL wanted the Bolts to win their home opener to keep the LA fan base interested. Truth is, the Bolts have NO LA fan base. They’re all Rams fans. Remember this guy Chaffers. He’s bad news.

6. For most of the game, it looked like Kelce was the only guy who showed up in the passing offense. He caught nine balls for 90 yards and our first TD. He also had several clutch catches to move the chains. Tyreek didn’t really show up until the fourth quarter. His 54 yard tumbling catch capped a 95 yard drive. Hartman made a tough catch in traffic to get the deuce and tie the game up. Glad Tyreek didn’t get flagged for taking his helmet off on the field. Hartman played pretty well, and hopefully Sammy won’t miss a lot of time in concussion protocol.

5. Patrick had his worst first half maybe ever. At the half he was 8 for 19 for 60 yards and one TD to Kelce. Patrick is the 2020 version of Horse Face, except he actually wins Super Bowls. When I say that, I meant that when things got tough in the second half, Pat took off running to get several big conversions. He ended up as KC’s leading rusher with 54 yards. When you defend his passes, he can take off and burn you. He only took one bad sack from Bosa, but got smacked around a lot in the first half. Down the stretch he was money, as usual. Glad he survived our O-Line's performance.

4. Big day for injuries around the NFL. For us, Williams had an ankle, Hamilton a groin, Watkins was seeing tweety birds. Frank Clark was apparently making pavement asterisks back in the locker room. Looked like Tyreek tweaked an ankle in the fourth quarter, and both linebackers Hitchens and Wilson got dinged on back to back plays. At least we didn’t lose our starting QB, starting running back or star tight end like some other teams around the league. I think the lack of pre-season conditioning is coming home to roost with all these injuries.

3. When Buttkicker had his extra point blocked, I thought, “Oh shit, he’s gonna have a rough day.” But he had the kind of day that puts you in the ring of honor. He tied Nick Lowrey’s all time distance record of 58 yards not once, but twice, including the game winner in OT. “Well, slap my ball boy!” Needless to say, game ball to the Buttkicker. He had ice in his veins and thunder in his right leg. Well done.

2. Andy did a pretty good job adjusting in the second half, and overcoming all those penalties down the stretch was big. Bolts played a good game, especially throwing a shave tail rookie into the frying pan at the eleventh hour. The kid made a stupid Phyllis like mistake, puking up a pick at the goal line instead of running for a sure first down and sustaining a drive. It was just what the Chiefs Sneeded at the time.

1. At the time of this writing, Buffalo won and looks very good on offense; Pittsburgh bitch slapped the Donks and Baltimore totally embarrassed Houston. So those teams seem to be our main competition thus far. Next up is the Ravens in their place for Monday Night Football. Both teams will come into the game undefeated. Chiefs definitely need to defend the run better, and stop Jackson from running wild. It’ll be the first real test and a marquee game in this season. But it’s a September game, and Pat doesn't lose in September. Also it’ll be nice to have an extra day to recover, since the team will have to go coast to coast for this one. This one belongs to the Buttkicker. Kicking Lives Matter!
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