So, I'm not really happy...on the surface things seem great, I have a decent job, Chiefs are kicking ass, I have a nice crib in the country, a couple cars, play some music on the weekends...
But I'm absolutely depressed. I miss my daughter, I miss my ex-girlfriend, Brittney...
I want to move to NY, but I have to wait for my job.
So, it seems like I'm stuck here, at least for a bit...
Not much is bringing me pleasure, I was so depressed today at work...I get weird thoughts, not like I want to hurt myself, but just...musings on the pointlessness of going to work every single day, just to pay to exist, just to really pay for the kid that I never see...
I'm actually pretty damn lonely, even in a roomful of people.
Originally Posted by rabblerouser:
This is good advice...a LOT of changes in my life, and I'm extremely doubtful about my abilities. I feel like I don't have control at all, I feel like I'm turning the wheel but the steering column isn't attached to the sway bar while I'm sliding on the ice.
The hard part is regaining some semblence of control, everything looks good from the outside...but on the inside, I'm falling apart.
Everybody has those doubts and feelings at some point in their lives. Accept the fact that you have, and will makes mistakes. While you are in control of your own destiny, there are things that are out of your control.
Every day is a fight, but look on the bright side. You have a job, some people don't. I'm assuming you have all of your fingers and toes, arms and legs. A car...food, etc. Keep on keeping on. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Bowser:
You have to work really hard at not living in the past. Don't play the "what if" game - all that does is open the door for you to kick your own ass and have really shitty inner dialogue. Control that which you can control. Focus on getting out and moving. Take ClevelandBronco's advice. Profit.
If you need to talk, feel free to PM me any time.
Been a whole lot of beating myself up for "zigging" when I should have "zagged."
Shit part of it all...she was all about me back when I was making $100/night playing in those sleazy 2 bit dives without a pot to piss in. I never cheated on her or got violent or anything...it just seems like, the more I got my life together, the less interest she's had.
Even when I was banging the crazy bitch, me and Britt were still friends.
Now, now that I realize what I gave up, now that I'm realizing that, hey, I'm going to settle down and provide for the ones I love and be consistent and basically do the things she begged me to do for 7 years...now she has no interest.
Originally Posted by Prison Bitch:
Go watch WWII documentaries on Histpry or AMC
After 3-4 of them, you'll be on your knees thanking God for the life you have. No joke - it's great therapy seeing suffering and realizing the ease of American life
What’s your physical life like? How’s your diet and exercise? Getting things lined out physically also contributes greatly to your mood and feelings about yourself. If you’re not already, start taking long walks, going to the gym and hitting the weights. Who knows, you may meet a new girl there. Also, low testosterone may contribute to some of the depression, so you might look into some supplements or see a doctor. Just a few thoughts before you take drugs or, worse, hurt yourself. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Kman34:
Really.. you posting on CP to whine....Get over it... things are tough at times for everyone... if you need a change in your life ..Get it done...
Alright... There are tough times for everyone but everyone has different ways to vent or find help during those tough times... Just because its an inconvenience for you to read this thread doesn't mean you have to be rude. [Reply]
Originally Posted by rabblerouser:
Been a whole lot of beating myself up for "zigging" when I should have "zagged."
Shit part of it all...she was all about me back when I was making $100/night playing in those sleazy 2 bit dives without a pot to piss in. I never cheated on her or got violent or anything...it just seems like, the more I got my life together, the less interest she's had.
Even when I was banging the crazy bitch, me and Britt were still friends.
Now, now that I realize what I gave up, now that I'm realizing that, hey, I'm going to settle down and provide for the ones I love and be consistent and basically do the things she begged me to do for 7 years...now she has no interest.
Oh, the irony.
A lot of women need a guy to fix. Once you're fixed, she's done with you. Think of it like graduating. It's a good thing. [Reply]
Originally Posted by rabblerouser:
Been a whole lot of beating myself up for "zigging" when I should have "zagged."
Shit part of it all...she was all about me back when I was making $100/night playing in those sleazy 2 bit dives without a pot to piss in. I never cheated on her or got violent or anything...it just seems like, the more I got my life together, the less interest she's had.
Even when I was banging the crazy bitch, me and Britt were still friends.
Now, now that I realize what I gave up, now that I'm realizing that, hey, I'm going to settle down and provide for the ones I love and be consistent and basically do the things she begged me to do for 7 years...now she has no interest.
Oh, the irony.
I'll meet you for a beer or coffee...what area do you live in? I bet it's on here but I don't wanna search. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Simplicity:
Alright... There are tough times for everyone but everyone has different ways to vent or find help during those tough times... Just because its an inconvenience for you to read this thread doesn't mean you have to be rude.
Yeah....bad day at work... I sent him a PM and apologized... [Reply]
