So, I'm not really happy...on the surface things seem great, I have a decent job, Chiefs are kicking ass, I have a nice crib in the country, a couple cars, play some music on the weekends...
But I'm absolutely depressed. I miss my daughter, I miss my ex-girlfriend, Brittney...
I want to move to NY, but I have to wait for my job.
So, it seems like I'm stuck here, at least for a bit...
Not much is bringing me pleasure, I was so depressed today at work...I get weird thoughts, not like I want to hurt myself, but just...musings on the pointlessness of going to work every single day, just to pay to exist, just to really pay for the kid that I never see...
I'm actually pretty damn lonely, even in a roomful of people.
Depression sucks. I have a wife with stage 4 cancer (3.5 years now) and it's rough for all. As crazy as this may sound, I medicated myself with magic mushrooms, tripped my balls off and changed everything: https://reason.com/2018/10/25/fda-re...s-breakthroug/ [Reply]
Because when you're young, you never think about your health or your future consequences of what your doing. When I was in my 20's and 30's I went to bars many many nights, that cost me my first wife. I was a chain smoker of 3 packs a day and got drunk probably five days a week.
In 2006 at age 56 my doctor said you need to quit smoking and gave me a prescription for "Chantix", five days later I quit and haven't smoked since. However, six months later I had to get a stent in my heart and that was the start.
After I got the stent I retired. I was self employed and was able to financially stop working. At age 61 I moved to Florida. Now I go to a Medicare doctor and a VA doctor, doesn't hurt to have more than one. I have a pulmonary doctor and a cancer doctor I see every six months.
I'm now 68, will be 69 July 10th. I've got Lymphoma (had 3 bumps removed in my armpit last year), I've got diabetes 2 I take medication, high blood pressure which I take medication for, I'm hypothyroid which I take a pill first thing every morning, I have a heart murmur, it's a leaky mitral valve, I have emphysema from the smoking and use 3 different inhalers, and I'm positive for TB they said probably from my service in Korea, and my feet sometimes hurt and I can't sleep which is diabetic neurophy.
With all this stuff, I don't let myself think about any of it or I would get depressed. I had to quit softball after five years before I can't run because of my lack of wind, but I do play 18 holes every Friday and go to the gym 3 days a week and lift weights and walk the treadmill for 60 minutes.
As they said in Raising Arizona, you got your health and be glad that you do, things could be a lot worse. [Reply]
Originally Posted by ptlyon:
Happy pre birthday DP! That is also my father's birthday as well as a good friend's.
Thanks, it wasn't 1950 was he? I cannot find one famous person born on my day, you know a cosmic twin. The closest I found is actor Bruce McGill born July 11, 1950. He started acting as D-Day in Animal House and now he plays judges, FBI, everything.
Mike, that's a great thing, but when I need to relax after a hard day or stressful situation - I take my time in a hot tub, for 20-30 minutes, and even hard stress go away for sure... [Reply]
Originally Posted by :
So, I'm not really happy...on the surface things seem great, I have a decent job, Chiefs are kicking ass, I have a nice crib in the country, a couple cars, play some music on the weekends...
But I'm absolutely depressed. I miss my daughter, I miss my ex-girlfriend, Brittney...
I want to move to NY, but I have to wait for my job.
So, it seems like I'm stuck here, at least for a bit...
Not much is bringing me pleasure, I was so depressed today at work...I get weird thoughts, not like I want to hurt myself, but just...musings on the pointlessness of going to work every single day, just to pay to exist, just to really pay for the kid that I never see...
I'm actually pretty damn lonely, even in a roomful of people.
It sucks.
I'm sorry for your feelings buddy.
But how about online video conversations?
It will not replace the real feelings, but maybe heal a little bit. [Reply]
