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Hall of Classics>The Declaration Of Independence, MO - The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel
Hammock Parties 02:57 AM 07-21-2012
The Declaration Of Independence, MO


The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel


When in the course of football events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the fandom bands which have connected them with a Quarterback, and to assume among the Powers of the NFL, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Football and of the NFL's Goodell entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Quarterbacks are not created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain Unalienable Talents, that among these are Arm Strength, Accuracy and the Pursuit of Championships.

That to secure these talents, Quarterbacks are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the Consent of the Fanbase, That whenever any Form of Quarterback becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Quarterbacks, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Attendance At Arrowhead and Hope For A Championship.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Quarterbacks Long Established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably The Same Offense evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to Throw Off Such Quarterbacks, and to provide new Guards (however, neither left nor right) for their Future Rooting Interests.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Chiefs Fans; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Offense. The history of the present Quarterback is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an Absolute Run-First Offense over the State of Missouri.


To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.


Cassel 3:16


Spoiler!


Playoff Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Winning Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Lacks Deep Passing Ability


Spoiler!


Cassel Makes Offensive Linemen Worse


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Good Defenses At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Elite Quarterbacks At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!



We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of Chiefs Fans, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme GM of Arrowhead for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Chiefs, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Chiefs fans are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent of Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel.

That they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Patriot Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of New England, is and ought to be totally dissolved.

And that as Free and Independent Chiefs Fans, they have full Power to levy Boos, conclude Peace, contract Alliances with Dwayne Bowe, establish Commerce with Top Five Picks, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Fans may of right do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Playoff Fortunes and our Sacred Fandom.


SIGN BELOW


This post made possible by SNR, Coogs and
The Gang Of 14.
Statistics compiled by ESPN, PFF and PFR

Dedicated to 'Hamas' Jenkins, our Patrick Henry, who said "Give Me Sanchez, Or Give Me Death."









For further details, please review
The Pioli Facts.

The Declaration has been updated with statistics from 2012 and FINALIZED. Remove Matt Cassel from Kansas City. FOREVER.

[Reply]
Hammock Parties 07:29 PM 11-28-2012
Won't be long now.


[Reply]
Hammock Parties 08:47 PM 12-05-2012
BACK INTO CHRONOLOGY!


[Reply]
Hammock Parties 11:05 PM 12-17-2012
This thread will be updated. Soon. For the LAST TIME.


[Reply]
htismaqe 08:39 AM 12-18-2012
The prosecution rests, your Honor.
[Reply]
Pasta Giant Meatball 08:44 AM 12-18-2012
Somebody send this to PeeWee.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 08:51 AM 12-18-2012
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning:
I am a little upset because if the Saints keep winning I am gonna have to award Cassel a win against a winning team, or possibly *gasp* a playoff team.
Nope. :-)
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 09:22 AM 12-26-2012
Now that playoff teams are set, the final update is completed, with all 2012 statistics.

The Declaration of Independence, MO is set in stone.

Soon we will be free men.

Updates below, with fabulous NEW statistics and blood flying everywhere.

Originally Posted by :
Gus Cassel has a career winning percentage of .158 against playoff teams (3-16).

He is 1-12 against playoff teams as a member of the KC Chiefs.

Gus Cassel's Record Against Playoff Teams:

2012 - 0-3
2011 - 0-2 (includes home loss to Tim Tebow)
2010 - 1-2
2009 - 0-5
2008 - 2-4

IMPORTANT FACT #1: Cassel has a losing record against playoff teams for one reason: he can't lead the offense to scores. Check out his PPG against playoff teams as a Chief:

2012: 12.0
2011: 6.5
2010: 19.3
2009: 13.0

A dismal average at just 13.2 PPG overall. But the 2010 average is completely skewed due to a 42-point outburst against the Seahawks. If you remove that game, Cassel's career average PPG against playoff teams as a Chief plummets to 10.8 PPG. LOL

This proves that regardless of the quality of the team around him, Cassel is a liability. The 2009 Chiefs blessed Cassel with a horrendous supporting cast, yet scored MORE points per game against playoff teams than the 2012 Chiefs! Inconceivable!

Against playoff teams, for his Chiefs career, Cassel averages 148.1 yards passing per game. He has 13 TD and 16 INT in these games (13 games in total). His quarterback rating in these games is a hilarious 67.1.

IMPORTANT FACT #2: With better quarterback play, the Chiefs might have won some of these games. This includes:

6. A 2012 game against the Baltimore Ravens, in which Cassel threw 2 INTs while the offense scored 6 points. The Chiefs lost 9-6.
Originally Posted by :
Gus Cassel has a career winning percentage of 0.238 against winning teams (5-16). This includes a playoff loss to the 2010 Ravens. It also includes three wins with the Patriots, meaning Cassel is 2-11 as Chiefs quarterback against winning teams.

Gus Cassel's Record Against Winning Teams:

2012: 0-3
2011: 0-1
2010: 1-2
2009: 1-5
2008: 3-5
Originally Posted by :
In 2012, 7 of the top 10 teams in yards per attempt qualified for the playoffs.

These are trends that cannot be ignored.

IMPORTANT FACT #1: No team "led" by Gus Cassel has ever finished higher than 16th in yards per attempt. Cassel's individual ranking in yards per attempt over the last four seasons is as follows:

Gus Cassel, Yards Per Attempt, By Year:

2012 - 29th
2011 - 29th
2010 - 19th
2009 - 30th
2008 - 15th

Gus Cassel, Deep Passing, By Year:


2012 - 10 for 34 (29%)
2011 - 9 for 30 (30%)
2010 - 10 for 44 (23%) - BEST YEAR OF GUS CASSEL'S LIFE
2009 - 16 for 55 (29%)
2008 - 8 for 38 (21%)
Originally Posted by :
Gus Cassel Sack Rate + KC/NE Pass Blocking Ranking, By Year (provided by PFF)


2012 - 1 sack every 14.5 attempts - 19th ranked pass blocking line. (editor's note - ranking skewed by Branden Albert leaving the lineup after Cassel was benched)
2011 - 1 sack every 12 attempts - 5th ranked pass blocking line.
2010 - 1 sack every 17 attempts - 16th ranked pass blocking line.
2009 - 1 sack every 12 attempts - 30th ranked pass blocking line.
2008 - 1 sack every 11 attempts - 18th ranked pass blocking line.
Originally Posted by :
For his career, when facing a top 10 defense (measured by yards or points allowed), Cassel is 5-11.

Gus Cassel's Record Against Top 10 Defenses, By Year:


2012: 0-3
2011: 0-1
2010: 1-1
2009: 3-3
2008: 1-3

Cassel's 185 yards per game in those 16 contests isn't bad (for Gus). His TD/INT ratio (11/16) is horrible. His team averages 16.1 offensive points per game.

Even worse: His Chiefs teams average 12.6 offensive points per game.
Editor's note:

In 2012, Cassel did not improve his record against winning teams, playoff teams or top 10 defenses. He did not improve his yards per attempt or deep completion percentage. He sucks, and cut this motherfucker.

FIN


[Reply]
Mr. Flopnuts 09:29 AM 12-26-2012
Thread of the year. THREAD OF THE FUCKING DECADE, BITCH!
[Reply]
Sweet Daddy Hate 09:37 AM 12-26-2012
:-):-):-)

Ahhhhhhhhhhh......fuck you, Gus.
[Reply]
rico 04:25 PM 01-01-2013


So...like uhhhh....... huh-huh-huh-huh. Huh-huh-huh-huh......when do we cut this butt-munch?
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 04:27 PM 01-01-2013
Hope everyone re-reads the OP. It is complete.

The official video declaration will be released this offseason.
[Reply]
Dayze 04:46 PM 01-01-2013
Originally Posted by rico:


So...like uhhhh....... huh-huh-huh-huh. Huh-huh-huh-huh......when do we cut this butt-munch?
:-)
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 12:28 AM 03-16-2013
hi thread

luv u
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 09:27 AM 07-04-2014
WE WILL NOT VANISH WITHOUT A FIGHT
[Reply]
New World Order 06:20 PM 07-07-2014
Originally Posted by Count Zarth:
WE WILL NOT VANISH WITHOUT A FIGHT

You should bump this thread every 4th of July.
[Reply]
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