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Hall of Classics>The Declaration Of Independence, MO - The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel
Hammock Parties 02:57 AM 07-21-2012
The Declaration Of Independence, MO


The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel


When in the course of football events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the fandom bands which have connected them with a Quarterback, and to assume among the Powers of the NFL, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Football and of the NFL's Goodell entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Quarterbacks are not created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain Unalienable Talents, that among these are Arm Strength, Accuracy and the Pursuit of Championships.

That to secure these talents, Quarterbacks are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the Consent of the Fanbase, That whenever any Form of Quarterback becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Quarterbacks, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Attendance At Arrowhead and Hope For A Championship.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Quarterbacks Long Established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably The Same Offense evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to Throw Off Such Quarterbacks, and to provide new Guards (however, neither left nor right) for their Future Rooting Interests.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Chiefs Fans; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Offense. The history of the present Quarterback is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an Absolute Run-First Offense over the State of Missouri.


To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.


Cassel 3:16


Spoiler!


Playoff Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Winning Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Lacks Deep Passing Ability


Spoiler!


Cassel Makes Offensive Linemen Worse


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Good Defenses At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Elite Quarterbacks At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!



We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of Chiefs Fans, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme GM of Arrowhead for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Chiefs, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Chiefs fans are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent of Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel.

That they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Patriot Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of New England, is and ought to be totally dissolved.

And that as Free and Independent Chiefs Fans, they have full Power to levy Boos, conclude Peace, contract Alliances with Dwayne Bowe, establish Commerce with Top Five Picks, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Fans may of right do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Playoff Fortunes and our Sacred Fandom.


SIGN BELOW


This post made possible by SNR, Coogs and
The Gang Of 14.
Statistics compiled by ESPN, PFF and PFR

Dedicated to 'Hamas' Jenkins, our Patrick Henry, who said "Give Me Sanchez, Or Give Me Death."









For further details, please review
The Pioli Facts.

The Declaration has been updated with statistics from 2012 and FINALIZED. Remove Matt Cassel from Kansas City. FOREVER.

[Reply]
Hammock Parties 10:19 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by Pawnmower:
But how could you have thought 2009 would be any good at all?
I believed in Haley, Cassel, Larry, Bowe, etc. I thought Goff could still play and that the OL wouldn't be a mega disaster.

Thought we could improve on D based on the talent.

Then Clancy Pendergast, 2.7 and Fat Butterfingers Bowe happened.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 10:36 PM 07-22-2012
http://www.chiefscrowd.com/forums/sh...ad.php?t=20852


[Reply]
BillSelfsTrophycase 10:43 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by Toad King:
http://www.chiefscrowd.com/forums/sh...ad.php?t=20852


Robert = Crenell

Longshanks = Pioli
[Reply]
notorious 10:45 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by BillSelfsTrophycase:
Robert = Crenell

Longshanks = Pioli
Don't tell me that Clay is William Wallace.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 10:47 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by notorious:
Don't tell me that Clay is William Wallace.
I WAS BORN IN SCOTLAND.
[Reply]
BillSelfsTrophycase 10:47 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by notorious:
Don't tell me that Clay is William Wallace.
If he were William Wallace, he'd devour the Chiefs front office with lightning bolts from his eyes and fireballs from his arse
[Reply]
notorious 10:50 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by BillSelfsTrophycase:
If he were William Wallace, he'd devour the Chiefs front office with lightning bolts from his eyes and fireballs from his arse
Get the man some Taco Tico ASAP!
[Reply]
Reaper16 10:52 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by splatbass:
Second of all the stuff he posted doesn't tell me what Cassel did in the offseason workouts, it just shows his general tendencies.

[Reply]
Hammock Parties 10:52 PM 07-22-2012
Aye, buy season tickets, and you'll live. At least awhile.

And dying in your beds, many years from now...would you trade all the days...from this day to that...to come back here and tell our quarterback....that he may take our money...but he'll never take....OUR FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!

*moons Cassel from the 50*
[Reply]
BillSelfsTrophycase 11:00 PM 07-22-2012
Season Ticket holders cost money....send the True Fans
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 11:09 PM 07-22-2012
IMPORTANT FACT #58106:

As a Chief, in games where Cassel's team rushes for less than 135 yards he is 5-17. In the five wins, Cassel's defense holds the opposition to an average of 15.4 points.
[Reply]
lcarus 11:32 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by Reaper16:
LOL, I'm gonna miss that guy. They fired him for Dwight, and Dwight wanted to leave anyway. What an asshole. I liked Stan just for the entertainment value he brought.
[Reply]
wazu 12:07 AM 07-23-2012
Originally Posted by Toad King:
Aye, buy season tickets, and you'll live. At least awhile.

And dying in your beds, many years from now...would you trade all the days...from this day to that...to come back here and tell our quarterback....that he may take our money...but he'll never take....OUR FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!

*moons Cassel from the 50*
You bastard. I've owned season tickets for 10 hellish years and this is the only thing I've seen that made me reconsider.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 12:17 AM 07-23-2012
Well, well. Look what I have acquired.


[Reply]
Pawnmower 12:30 AM 07-23-2012
Originally Posted by Toad King:
Do you have any idea how homertastic this place was before that game?

People actually believed we lost purposely to the Raiders because we wanted to play Baltimore.
We sweep the Fade in 2012.

You heard it here 1st.
[Reply]
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