You kids are going to drive me into an early grave.
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Shut your damn pie hole.
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"If you would exercise your arms and legs as much as your mouth you'd be a regular Arnold Schwarzenegger"
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"you got the brains of a gnat"

"what you doin' sassmo?"

"stomped on a frog" (when farting)

"by jigger wigger"

"don't"
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If the meat was tough and we complained at the dinner table Dad would say its good exercise for your jowl muscles.
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"Well I'll swan." Or "I'll swan."
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My uncle would always say when some woman was giving some dude shit, divorce, nagging, child support, whatever, he’d always say, “That’s the fucking you get for the fucking you got”. LOL

Anytime someone tries to bullshit dad he says, “ I may have been born at night but it wasn’t last night.”

A bunch of others already listed.
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Grandpa always used to say (put-in-eer) I have no idea how you’d spell that. Anyway, it was some sort of unit of measure that translates to almost or close.

Anyway, I’m pretty sure he’s the only guy on the planet that said it.
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Whenever my grandfather got mad and wanted to curse he would always belt out,"Great Day In The Morning!"
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Its "purt in near"
Also know as Pretty Near
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“You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit”

“ Nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs”

When you drink the same drink that gave you a hangover.. “ The hair of the dog that bit you”
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“Oh fiddle”
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I got the pleasure of hearing a lot of those already listed. Another my pops would say:

"You can sleep when you're dead"

and so many more....
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"Get off of the babysitter"
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Hotter than a popcorn fart
tougher than gorilla cum
lefty loosy, righty tighty

When we got hurt dad always said "It'll feel better when it quits hurting".
Bike wrecks, animal attacks, surgeries, broken bones, car driving over your legs, heartbreaks...."It'll feel better when it quits hurting".

Last year he had heart surgery, he was feeling pretty rough the next day and when he was saying so, I had the moment I'd been waiting for...."It'll feel better when it quits hurting dad"
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