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Hall of Classics>The Declaration Of Independence, MO - The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel
Hammock Parties 02:57 AM 07-21-2012
The Declaration Of Independence, MO


The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel


When in the course of football events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the fandom bands which have connected them with a Quarterback, and to assume among the Powers of the NFL, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Football and of the NFL's Goodell entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Quarterbacks are not created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain Unalienable Talents, that among these are Arm Strength, Accuracy and the Pursuit of Championships.

That to secure these talents, Quarterbacks are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the Consent of the Fanbase, That whenever any Form of Quarterback becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Quarterbacks, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Attendance At Arrowhead and Hope For A Championship.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Quarterbacks Long Established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably The Same Offense evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to Throw Off Such Quarterbacks, and to provide new Guards (however, neither left nor right) for their Future Rooting Interests.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Chiefs Fans; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Offense. The history of the present Quarterback is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an Absolute Run-First Offense over the State of Missouri.


To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.


Cassel 3:16


Spoiler!


Playoff Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Winning Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Lacks Deep Passing Ability


Spoiler!


Cassel Makes Offensive Linemen Worse


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Good Defenses At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Elite Quarterbacks At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!



We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of Chiefs Fans, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme GM of Arrowhead for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Chiefs, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Chiefs fans are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent of Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel.

That they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Patriot Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of New England, is and ought to be totally dissolved.

And that as Free and Independent Chiefs Fans, they have full Power to levy Boos, conclude Peace, contract Alliances with Dwayne Bowe, establish Commerce with Top Five Picks, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Fans may of right do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Playoff Fortunes and our Sacred Fandom.


SIGN BELOW


This post made possible by SNR, Coogs and
The Gang Of 14.
Statistics compiled by ESPN, PFF and PFR

Dedicated to 'Hamas' Jenkins, our Patrick Henry, who said "Give Me Sanchez, Or Give Me Death."









For further details, please review
The Pioli Facts.

The Declaration has been updated with statistics from 2012 and FINALIZED. Remove Matt Cassel from Kansas City. FOREVER.

[Reply]
Hammock Parties 10:09 AM 09-26-2012
Originally Posted by L.A.Chieffan:
No no no, you guys cant have your cake and eat it too. When Cassell blew up against the Bills and had a good line it was, " Oh, YOU CANT COUNT T HOSE STATS".
We're counting those stats, moron. Those are included in his 14-game stretch.

But since you brought it up, if we subtract those two bullshit TD passes from Buffalo, his QB rating falls to 61.2.
[Reply]
CoMoChief 10:12 AM 09-26-2012
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning:
We're counting those stats, moron. Those are included in his 14-game stretch.

But since you brought it up, if we subtract those two bullshit TD passes from Buffalo, his QB rating falls to 61.2.
:-)
[Reply]
L.A. Chieffan 10:13 AM 09-26-2012
So you just made up a bunch of bullshit about Cassell stats not improving even though hes got a:

A new OC
a healthy JC
Eric Winston

and yet you go back 14 games! HAHA Brilliant!
[Reply]
Molitoth 10:14 AM 09-26-2012
L.A. Chieffan = Cassel's little brother.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 10:27 AM 09-26-2012
Originally Posted by L.A.Chieffan:
So you just made up a bunch of bullshit about Cassell stats not improving even though hes got a:

A new OC
a healthy JC
Eric Winston

and yet you go back 14 games! HAHA Brilliant!
Allow me to break it down for you, mouth breather.

Cassel in 2011:

59.5%
6.4 YPA
TD percentage: 3.7%
INT percentage: 3.3%
1 sack every 12.2 pass attempts
76.6 QB rating

Cassel in 2012:

58.8% (decline)
6.8 YPA (increase)
TD percentage: 2.5% (massive decline)
INT percentage: 3.4% (decline)
1 sack every 10.8 attempts (decline)
73.8 QB rating (decline)

Cassel declined in every category but yards per attempt...and he is still 23rd in the NFL in that stat...so he still sucks.

Compared to the rest of his career, he's getting WORSE so far this season.

And it's because we're playing better teams and there is more pressure on him to perform. And every DC in the league knows how to fuck his shit up.
[Reply]
L.A. Chieffan 10:38 AM 09-26-2012
Yeah, 3 games (2 against very good defenses) is an awesome sample size.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 10:44 AM 09-26-2012
Originally Posted by L.A.Chieffan:
Yeah, 3 games (2 against very good defenses) is an awesome sample size.
Going by yards per attempt:

The Saints have the 30th ranked pass defense
The Bills have the 18th ranked pass defense

Congrats to Cassel for eating shit against Atlanta's excellent pass defense, though.

By the way, get ready to watch Cassel eat MORE shit, because San Diego is giving up only 6.4 yards per attempt this season.
[Reply]
L.A. Chieffan 10:44 AM 09-26-2012
Did you see Aaron Rodgers miss a WIDE OPEN Greg Jennings in the flat the other night? Why dont you post a GIF of that one, HMMMM?!!?

OMGZ AARON RODGERS IS GOINGZ TO GET HES RECIVERS KILT LOLZQ!
[Reply]
L.A. Chieffan 10:47 AM 09-26-2012
Watch I bet Cassell will have better numbers than Rivers next week
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 11:17 AM 09-26-2012
Originally Posted by L.A.Chieffan:
Watch I bet Cassell will have better numbers than Rivers next week
Since Cassel has literally never come close to throwing for more yards in a game vs Philip Rivers, no.
[Reply]
Bewbies 11:29 AM 09-26-2012
Isn't Cassel from LA? I think we do have a brother or close friend trolling this site..
[Reply]
Rausch 11:32 AM 09-26-2012
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning:
Since Cassel has literally never come close to throwing for more yards in a game vs Philip Rivers, no.
Their defense and offense took a step back this year. And Rivers numbers look like Ca$$hole numbers to me...
[Reply]
Chief_For_Life58 11:35 AM 09-26-2012
buuuut he tries really hard guys!!
[Reply]
threebag 11:41 AM 09-26-2012
Originally Posted by L.A.Chieffan:
Yeah, 3 games (2 against very good defenses) is an awesome sample size.
Yes, if he wants to compete in this league then he needs to be able to produce a favorable stat line against even the top defenses. Not just bottom feed with garbage stats. With The Matt Cassel, LA ChiefsFan you will always be able to draft a top ten defensive lineman.

Fucking enjoy
[Reply]
Molitoth 11:49 AM 09-26-2012
Originally Posted by L.A.Chieffan:
Yeah, 3 games (2 against very good defenses) is an awesome sample size.
We have had 4 seasons of Cassel sample size.
[Reply]
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