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Hall of Classics>I just walked in on a coworker...
Fire Me Boy! 10:36 PM 02-18-2005
whacking off to Internet porn AT MY DESK!

I walk into the office at 10:15 p.m., only 5 hours after we close. I'm picking up some more stuff for my day tomorrow and clocking out... I walk back to my desk, the door's closed and I think, "Hmm... the door's closed. That's weird." I open it up and there's my coworker, who frantically turns the monitor off (I didn't see what kind of porn it was) and begins zipping his fly. I didn't actually notice him zipping up till I said, "Hey, what are you still doing here?" That's when I saw him buttoning/zipping the pants...

Then he proceeds to say, "Nothing, what are you doing here?" I answer, "Just clocking out." By this time, I'm back in the hallway, so he knows I'm not standing there just looking at him. Then he asks again... I answer again. He asks again... like f*cking Rainman (not you, Rainman... Dustin Hoffman's Rainman, which isn't actually Dustin Hoffman, but you know what I mean...). Then he skiddadles out of the office without saying anything (which I don't blame him for).

Now, I had been noticing over the last few months porn sites on my computer's history... I wasn't worried about being caught or anything, I'm the tech guy and I know it wasn't me. That's what I have a home computer for. I hope this little scare will convince him that he probably shouldn't do that at work anymore... but, damn... now I gotta get a new keyboard and I just got this one. Sick f*cker.
[Reply]
jcroft 12:07 AM 02-21-2005
Originally Posted by Metrolike:
Sperm dies instantly if the temperature isn't right. Still gross as f*ck. Piss is sterile, but you don't drink it (well most of us don't).
No doubt. It's gross. That's why I said wipe that shit down.

But saying things like "I'd be using the cleaning equlivent of napalm" is a bit silly, and seems more homophobic than anything else.

Out of curiosity: if a hot girl had been masturbating to porn in your chair, would you guys have been as concerned about using industrial strength cleaners?

My point is simply that cum in your chair is gross, but it's not a health risk. That's all.
[Reply]
Pants 12:12 AM 02-21-2005
Originally Posted by jcroft:
Out of curiosity: if a hot girl had been masturbating to porn in your chair, would you guys have been as concerned about using industrial strength cleaners?
No, I'd ask if I could watch.
[Reply]
J Diddy 12:43 AM 02-21-2005
Originally Posted by jcroft:
No doubt. It's gross. That's why I said wipe that shit down.

But saying things like "I'd be using the cleaning equlivent of napalm" is a bit silly, and seems more homophobic than anything else.

Out of curiosity: if a hot girl had been masturbating to porn in your chair, would you guys have been as concerned about using industrial strength cleaners?

My point is simply that cum in your chair is gross, but it's not a health risk. That's all.
I would consider it a health risk in that, if I saw cum in my chair, I would either die or that mofo would die.

Geez, at least have the common courtesy to hit the waste basket.
[Reply]
Rausch 12:47 AM 02-21-2005
Originally Posted by jcroft:
No doubt. It's gross. That's why I said wipe that shit down.

But saying things like "I'd be using the cleaning equlivent of napalm" is a bit silly, and seems more homophobic than anything else.
There's a huge difference between hating gay people and not wanting to drown your hands in some guys d!ck-snot...
[Reply]
Rausch 12:48 AM 02-21-2005
Originally Posted by J Diddy:
Geez, at least have the common courtesy to hit the waste basket.
At home...
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Fire Me Boy! 08:15 AM 02-21-2005
I'm not concerned about the health risks, there are none. I'm not concerned about getting fired -- it's a small company and I'm the ONLY person here that would have any frickin' clue as to how to track something like this (that's why I'm the tech guy). I'm only concerned about the "ewwww" factor, which hits about a 9.8. Although, I'm not concerned about spunk in my chair because apparently, I interrupted him.
[Reply]
Fire Me Boy! 08:15 AM 02-21-2005
Originally Posted by Rausch:
At home...
No sh*t... couldn't agree more.
[Reply]
milkman 08:25 AM 02-21-2005
Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy!:
I'm not concerned about the health risks, there are none. I'm not concerned about getting fired -- it's a small company and I'm the ONLY person here that would have any frickin' clue as to how to track something like this (that's why I'm the tech guy). I'm only concerned about the "ewwww" factor, which hits about a 9.8. Although, I'm not concerned about spunk in my chair because apparently, I interrupted him.
This time.
[Reply]
teedubya 08:26 AM 02-21-2005
Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy!:
Although, I'm not concerned about spunk in my chair because apparently, I interrupted him.
THIS TIME... heh. Think of all the other times that your hand has touched the mouse after his spunk episodes. hahah ahah ahah ahah
[Reply]
Joe Seahawk 08:27 AM 02-21-2005
You can clean your monitor with this..err these..

WARNING boobie pic inside.

http://www.25-88.com/clean_your_monitor/brush.swf
[Reply]
teedubya 08:29 AM 02-21-2005
Originally Posted by milkman:
This time.

whoa. that was a goocher.


[Reply]
Fire Me Boy! 09:34 AM 02-21-2005
Originally Posted by Joe Seahawk:
You can clean your monitor with this..err these..

WARNING boobie pic inside.

http://www.25-88.com/clean_your_monitor/brush.swf
That's incredible.




So, this morning has been, to say the least, awkward. The perp (perv?) has done a REALLY good job of being in another room all day so far... we'll see how long this keeps up, no pun intended.
[Reply]
Fire Me Boy! 09:35 AM 02-21-2005
This morning, I walked in... he's in the office. I just smiled and said, "What's up?" He looked at me like a deer in the headlights... silence for probably 3 seconds. Then, he just nodded.
[Reply]
CosmicPal 09:37 AM 02-21-2005
Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy!:
This morning, I walked in... he's in the office. I just smiled and said, "What's up?" He looked at me like a deer in the headlights... silence for probably 3 seconds. Then, he just nodded.
Instead of saying, "What's Up?" You should have asked him, "Can I give you a hand with anything today?"
[Reply]
teedubya 09:41 AM 02-21-2005
Originally Posted by CosmicPal:
Instead of saying, "What's Up?" You should have asked him, "Can I give you a hand with anything today?"
Um, that might imply he wants to help him whack off... dunno if that is good advice. heh.
[Reply]
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