Last August, I took a job in Healthcare admin, good benefits, and got my own place out in the country, just me and the dog...
Around the same time, I started seeing a good friend of mine, she's been my friend for years...we started sleeping together. I mean, she's pretty smoking, perfect ass and perky titties. Awesome sexual chemistry. Before long I had a key to her place, we were planning meals and weekends together, I was picking her kids up from school and taking them to karate on Tues/Thurs...
And then things go haywire :
She starts nitpicking me to death.
Then about 2 weeks ago, I find the ubiquitous "hey you wanna do me on your lunch hour text" on her phone (by accident - not a snoop), to which she tried to explain away and told me also that we hadn't actually sat down and defined anything yet, but that if I wanted her to not talk with (or ****) other guys, and be exclusive, then she would be into that...
Well we broke up last night, for the best but man I'm ****ing depressed. She ****ing physically attacked me, neighbors called the cops, it was stupid. I'm embarrassed. Maybe someday, I'll meet a nice girl who won't cheat on me or get drunk and try to beat me up...but I doubt it. I mean, I'm a good dude, don't cheat or hit the wimmin folk, good job, live on my own...I deserve to be treated with respect. So...I'm probably going to isolate myself for awhile. She was one of my best friends for a long time. It makes me sad.
So, I don't need any "chin up" or "you're better off" or "well, what'd you expect!?"
I just need to know if there are ANY women between the ages of, say, 23 and 42 that actually cook, clean, do laundry, don't drink excessively, don't go batshit off the rails when they DO have a couple, and won't **** the neighbor or suck off the pizza guy everytime your back is turned?? Someone I can CONVERSE with, and have a real connection with? Someone who respects themselves and others, and are comfortable enough inside themselves to show that respect ALWAYS?
Okay, take notes, people. I'm going to give you a very simple formula for identifying and filtering potential mates. You use the following formula.
Her IQ
+ Her annual earned income/3000
+ her net worth divided by 25000
+ the net worth of her parents/(50000 x number of her siblings)
- the number of times she's been arrested in the past 5 years x 80
- the number of times her immediate family members have been arrested over the past 5 years x 15
+ ((her bust measurement - her hip measurement)^3)*400
+ (cube root(number of times she's ever made out with another woman)*100)* (number of men she's made out with/number of women she's made out with)
- number of men she's ever made out with *60
- number of times that she's used illegal drugs in the past 12 months * 1000
- number of cigarettes/joints she's smoked in the past 30 days*750
+ 34*(total number of times she laughs when watching one episode each of
your ten favorite sitcoms of all time and your 5 favorite movies)
- the average cost of her shoes currently on hand x 12
Take the sum of that and multiply it by the following:
[(1-her highest Blood Alcohol Content in the past year)^2]
/(the carat size of the engagement ring that she feels is appropriate)^3
* (% of her interactions with service workers in the past 60 days where she grew angry or insulting)^2
* (the ratio of the younger age of you two over the older age)
* (your weight/her weight)
The higher the number, the better potential mate. You can thank me later. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Rain Man:
Okay, take notes, people. I'm going to give you a very simple formula for identifying and filtering potential mates. You use the following formula.
Her IQ
+ Her annual earned income/3000
+ her net worth divided by 25000
+ the net worth of her parents/(50000 x number of her siblings)
- the number of times she's been arrested in the past 5 years x 80
- the number of times her immediate family members have been arrested over the past 5 years x 15
+ ((her bust measurement - her hip measurement)^3)*400
+ (cube root(number of times she's ever made out with another woman)*100)* (number of men she's made out with/number of women she's made out with)
- number of men she's ever made out with *60
- number of times that she's used illegal drugs in the past 12 months * 1000
- number of cigarettes/joints she's smoked in the past 30 days*750
+ 34*(total number of times she laughs when watching one episode each of
your ten favorite sitcoms of all time and your 5 favorite movies)
- the average cost of her shoes currently on hand x 12
Take the sum of that and multiply it by the following:
[(1-her highest Blood Alcohol Content in the past year)^2]
/(the carat size of the engagement ring that she feels is appropriate)^3
* (% of her interactions with service workers in the past 60 days where she grew angry or insulting)^2
* (the ratio of the younger age of you two over the older age)
* (your weight/her weight)
The higher the number, the better potential mate. You can thank me later.
Originally Posted by Rain Man:
Okay, take notes, people. I'm going to give you a very simple formula for identifying and filtering potential mates. You use the following formula.
Her IQ
+ Her annual earned income/3000
+ her net worth divided by 25000
+ the net worth of her parents/(50000 x number of her siblings)
- the number of times she's been arrested in the past 5 years x 80
- the number of times her immediate family members have been arrested over the past 5 years x 15
+ ((her bust measurement - her hip measurement)^3)*400
+ (cube root(number of times she's ever made out with another woman)*100)* (number of men she's made out with/number of women she's made out with)
- number of men she's ever made out with *60
- number of times that she's used illegal drugs in the past 12 months * 1000
- number of cigarettes/joints she's smoked in the past 30 days*750
+ 34*(total number of times she laughs when watching one episode each of
your ten favorite sitcoms of all time and your 5 favorite movies)
- the average cost of her shoes currently on hand x 12
Take the sum of that and multiply it by the following:
[(1-her highest Blood Alcohol Content in the past year)^2]
/(the carat size of the engagement ring that she feels is appropriate)^3
* (% of her interactions with service workers in the past 60 days where she grew angry or insulting)^2
* (the ratio of the younger age of you two over the older age)
* (your weight/her weight)
The higher the number, the better potential mate. You can thank me later.
I had one like that, body made for sin. We went to Michael Bublé and she bitched about the seats, my having to stop on the way, yada yada. I bet a guy playing pool after the show at the Red Velvet, that if I lost, I'd leave her with him. Hard as I tried to lose... She threw up in the baby sitters driveway and asked me if I'd help clean it up the next morning.
Never saw her again.
It's best that you ran, not walked away from that one.
Originally Posted by rabblerouser:
Poor, poor Bill.
I want to take this opportunity to thank Chiefs Planet, every poster here (except SAUTO), for this sobering, unfiltered glimpse of what my future held with Alcoholic Babymamma Drama and the 2 shitlins.
I've got my own kid, a decent job, trucks to work on, flooring to fix, a record to mix...
What the CUCK was I even doing hanging out with that crazy bitch?? The pussy was damn good, great even.
But I've had great pussies before her, I shall have some great ones after, as well...
Because NO pussy is worth that shit.
Better off beating off.
Originally Posted by cooper barrett:
I had one like that, body made for sin. We went to Michael Bublé and she bitched about the seats, my having to stop on the way, yada yada. I bet a guy playing pool after the show at the Red Velvet, that if I lost, I'd leave her with him. Hard as I tried to lose... She threw up in the baby sitters driveway and asked me if I'd help clean it up the next morning.
Never saw her again.
It's best that you ran, not walked away from that one.
Yup. I forgot the matrix.
She was 'friend zoned' for years, reappeared in the 'fun zone...but the crazy/hot matrix doesn't account for those that appear to be "fun zone" but are actually truly always firmly in the "danger zone". Redhead, too. ****ing CRAZY hot.
She should have Kenny 'Danger Zone' Loggins following her around, singing her theme song... [Reply]
Originally Posted by rabblerouser:
Yup. I forgot the matrix.
She was 'friend zoned' for years, reappeared in the 'fun zone...but the crazy/hot matrix doesn't account for those that appear to be "fun zone" but are actually truly always firmly in the "danger zone". Redhead, too. ****ing CRAZY hot.
She should have Kenny 'Danger Zone' Loggins following her around, singing her theme song...
I picked one up, grabbed her purse, carried her outside my house and went back inside, just like Fred Flintstone putting the cat out for the night. She tried everything to get back in. She finally got the hint and got in her car and left. I have a couple more stories about that one I could share but not here...
Believe me I've met crazy. The one I have now is just crazy enough for me not to get bored with, and smart enough to know a good thing when she sees it. Plus, I like it when people I know mistake her as my daughter:-):-):-):-)
There are a few good points in RainMan's post that if I am ever single again, I will reference. Hang in there, just when you're about to give up hope one will come your way.
My advice, Never date someone who is Dependant on you or has more problems than you...for obvious reasons.
I am a sucker for a hot redhead, share pictures? [Reply]
Could you show us a completed worksheet? Maybe some baseline numbers? For a friend...:-):-)
Originally Posted by Rain Man:
Okay, take notes, people. I'm going to give you a very simple formula for identifying and filtering potential mates. You use the following formula.
Her IQ
+ Her annual earned income/3000
+ her net worth divided by 25000
+ the net worth of her parents/(50000 x number of her siblings)
- the number of times she's been arrested in the past 5 years x 80
- the number of times her immediate family members have been arrested over the past 5 years x 15
+ ((her bust measurement - her hip measurement)^3)*400
+ (cube root(number of times she's ever made out with another woman)*100)* (number of men she's made out with/number of women she's made out with)
- number of men she's ever made out with *60
- number of times that she's used illegal drugs in the past 12 months * 1000
- number of cigarettes/joints she's smoked in the past 30 days*750
+ 34*(total number of times she laughs when watching one episode each of
your ten favorite sitcoms of all time and your 5 favorite movies)
- the average cost of her shoes currently on hand x 12
Take the sum of that and multiply it by the following:
[(1-her highest Blood Alcohol Content in the past year)^2]
/(the carat size of the engagement ring that she feels is appropriate)^3
* (% of her interactions with service workers in the past 60 days where she grew angry or insulting)^2
* (the ratio of the younger age of you two over the older age)
* (your weight/her weight)
The higher the number, the better potential mate. You can thank me later.
