So, I'm not really happy...on the surface things seem great, I have a decent job, Chiefs are kicking ass, I have a nice crib in the country, a couple cars, play some music on the weekends...
But I'm absolutely depressed. I miss my daughter, I miss my ex-girlfriend, Brittney...
I want to move to NY, but I have to wait for my job.
So, it seems like I'm stuck here, at least for a bit...
Not much is bringing me pleasure, I was so depressed today at work...I get weird thoughts, not like I want to hurt myself, but just...musings on the pointlessness of going to work every single day, just to pay to exist, just to really pay for the kid that I never see...
I'm actually pretty damn lonely, even in a roomful of people.
Originally Posted by rabblerouser:
Rough day at work today...all my days are long and hard lately, but today has been horrible.
I hate not having a life. I used to have a good life.
I used to have awesome people in my life.
No offense bud, but you're going through this for a reason. You let the bad shit take too much control, and this punishment is intended to get your priorities back in line. This is what it takes. Right now you're simply missing the destructive lifestyle that resulted in you being in this predicament in the first place. You've got to reset your normal from something abusive and destructive to something better. It's hella painful at first. It's not a quick fix. It will continue to be painful. But if you really stick with it, it will get better. I've had friends go through the same. You've just got to put up with the pain of re-centering your priorities to something more sustainable. Doesn't even have to be perfect, just sustainable and healthy. Stick with it. Come here and tell us how shitty you're feeling. We'll make fun of you and support you and find ways of sustaining. Your choices are that or fall down again and lose everything again and maybe start back at square one. A choice to make yourself into something better and be a part of your child's life, or reduce yourself further than you've already been. It's up to you. We'll support your dumb ass. But nobody can do it but you. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Sweet Daddy Hate:
I "ruined my entire life" at 40 years old. 3 years later, my life was better than it had ever been. In every possible way.
Don't look back. Just get through the day. Be present in the present.
One foot in front of the other. That's all you can do.
Don't worry about tomorrow, that's where the anxiety will get you. Tomorrow you will do what you did today; you'll take it as it comes.
Don't look back, it's gone, it doesn't matter. All that matters is right now, and if you stay present in the present, you'll get through it.
When my wife was sick and then died, it's how I got through. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Chris Meck:
Don't look back. Just get through the day. Be present in the present.
One foot in front of the other. That's all you can do.
Don't worry about tomorrow, that's where the anxiety will get you. Tomorrow you will do what you did today; you'll take it as it comes.
Don't look back, it's gone, it doesn't matter. All that matters is right now, and if you stay present in the present, you'll get through it.
When my wife was sick and then died, it's how I got through.
Thank you, that's solid as anything.
I'm sorry to hear about your wife, I can't imagine... [Reply]
That's great advice from Meck. We can only take each day as it comes and worrying about tomorrow, something you have absolutely no control over, is a pointless exercise in frustration.