My story has to be the time I ran wingman for my best friend out of Basic. The girl he wanted was smoking. The girl that wouldn't leave her side? Horrendous!
I bit the bullet for my buddy, just to be chased out the window by her father and my best friend didn't even get to seal the deal. One of the things we still talk about to this day, though.
Anyone else go to this level for a friend? [Reply]
4th grade. The dragon lady puts a paper on the door of her classroom encouraging students to write "things that are green" in honor of St Patrick's day. At some point she storms into the room, snarling like the rabid cow that she was.....demanding to know who had done it....done what you ask, as I did at the time.
As she stamped across the room towards my desk she ululated " someone....(looking at me) wrote "a booger" on the things that are green board. I will have a confession or no one goes on the fir,d trip or ever has enjoy,net in their life again". It is worse than after flick comes in after the flag pole. The class is restless. It's obvious she thinks I did it. The class is unsettled and stammering whispers iof "admit it" checker the room. The uterus of doom obviously thinks I did it, kids are starting to assume I did it.....so to save the team, I confess to a crime I did. It commit.
The wicked witch of 4th grade rips me from my chair by the ear and arm and essentially pummels me across the room, pushes me outside and begins to slam me against the door several times as she screams gibberish about how terrible I was and that I had ruined the holiday in which we stereotype the Irish for everyone. Worst person ever! Destined to fail...
I spend the next hour standing in front of the door, scribbling over the dreaded "a booger" text. Do you know what happens when you scribble on the same 3 cubic inches with a green marker for an hour? It breaks through the paper and then you spend a couple of recesses cleaning the spot on the door.
The sonnabitch who did it never confessed, they could have at least thrown the standard jawbreaker candy apology my way.
To this day I hope her vagina fell out. Innocent. I should seek reparations.
2 short years later, the jelly belly caper.....but at least my friends did that and I was there. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Iowanian:
C4w. I feel your pain.
4th grade. The dragon lady puts a paper on the door of her classroom encouraging students to write "things that are green" in honor of St Patrick's day. At some point she storms into the room, snarling like the rabid cow that she was.....demanding to know who had done it....done what you ask, as I did at the time.
As she stamped across the room towards my desk she ululated " someone....(looking at me) wrote "a booger" on the things that are green board. I will have a confession or no one goes on the fir,d trip or ever has enjoy,net in their life again". It is worse than after flick comes in after the flag pole. The class is restless. It's obvious she thinks I did it. The class is unsettled and stammering whispers iof "admit it" checker the room. The uterus of doom obviously thinks I did it, kids are starting to assume I did it.....so to save the team, I confess to a crime I did. It commit.
The wicked witch of 4th grade rips me from my chair by the ear and arm and essentially pummels me across the room, pushes me outside and begins to slam me against the door several times as she screams gibberish about how terrible I was and that I had ruined the holiday in which we stereotype the Irish for everyone. Worst person ever! Destined to fail...
I spend the next hour standing in front of the door, scribbling over the dreaded "a booger" text. Do you know what happens when you scribble on the same 3 cubic inches with a green marker for an hour? It breaks through the paper and then you spend a couple of recesses cleaning the spot on the door.
The sonnabitch who did it never confessed, they could have at least thrown the standard jawbreaker candy apology my way.
To this day I hope her vagina fell out. Innocent. I should seek reparations.
2 short years later, the jelly belly caper.....but at least my friends did that and I was there.
After that incident I didn't even care anymore. When I got to Jr. high I didn't take crap for any teacher ever. That costed me too, but it all started when that SOB choked me into admitting something I did not do. I will never ever forget that for the rest of my life.
I laugh it off now, but inside, I would snap if I saw the guy.
I feel for ya man. I know exactly where ya come from. [Reply]
Iowanian, you didn't happen to get dragged to the principals office in 6th grade by the ear by Mrs. Watts? Or get accused of stealing money out of the UNICEF box in 4th grade?
Story:
1970.
I am just over 1. We are going to church in a 63 Ford. Dad, mom, my sister (6) and I are in the front seat. I am sitting on my sisters lap.
Stopped at a corner, dad looks for oncoming traffic, moms head gets in the way. Dad pulls out and gets t-boned by another car. I am assuming the car is traveling well over 60 because there was no speed limit. We had no seat belts (not required then) and no car seats.
Sister and I lunge forward hitting the dash and both sustained massive concussions. The car spun, and at one time was told I spun out of the car. (don't think that happened)
Dad gave me mouth to mouth, as well as the person that lived on the corner.
To me, I should not be here today. As far as I know, no lasting effects other than my right eye is not the greatest. They never talked about the crash.
Mom and dad are both gone now. Mom lost her fight two weeks ago. Some of you may remember me talking about her.
This is the best thread ever. It made me look for him. He's 71 now. Lives in Philly. I'm preparing a very large message to his Facebook. This is therapy shit!! lol [Reply]
Originally Posted by Chiefs4TheWin:
This is the best thread ever. It made me look for him. He's 71 now. Lives in Philly. I'm preparing a very large message to his Facebook. This is therapy shit!! lol
Originally Posted by Chiefs4TheWin:
This is the best thread ever. It made me look for him. He's 71 now. Lives in Philly. I'm preparing a very large message to his Facebook. This is therapy shit!! lol
Can't leave us hanging now. We see need to see messages and replies. [Reply]
long, long, long time ago me and two buddies took a dead muskrat that we trapped and stuck it in a school bus. middle of the night...we stashed it in the little cabinet over the door where they used to keep the first aid kit or some shit. propped it's little mouth open so whoever found it would see the teeth and scare them, I guess.
days turned to a couple weeks and no one said anything...then they took the bus down to the state track meet. turned pretty warm that day and it started stinking pretty bad. they finally pulled over and searched and found what was described as opossum soup.
one guy that did it with us was on the trip and never said a word. 37 years later, that guy's an engineer and is still scared to death he's going to get busted for it. has 2 sons in hs and forbids me to tell them any stories about when we were in hs.
Originally Posted by seclark:
long, long, long time ago me and two buddies took a dead muskrat that we trapped and stuck it in a school bus. middle of the night...we stashed it in the little cabinet over the door where they used to keep the first aid kit or some shit. propped it's little mouth open so whoever found it would see the teeth and scare them, I guess.
days turned to a couple weeks and no one said anything...then they took the bus down to the state track meet. turned pretty warm that day and it started stinking pretty bad. they finally pulled over and searched and found what was described as opossum soup.
one guy that did it with us was on the trip and never said a word. 37 years later, that guy's an engineer and is still scared to death he's going to get busted for it. has 2 sons in hs and forbids me to tell them any stories about when we were in hs.
sec
That's pretty good.
Me and my buddies once killed a small black snake, wrapped a string around its head and tied it to the inside of my neighbors mailbox door. Then, we waited.
The poor dude bout had a stroke when he opened his mailbox and that snake jumped out at him. [Reply]
I require closure in my life to keep me at peace. We're going to need to see this post and a response....sooner is superior to later.
Originally Posted by Chiefs4TheWin:
This is the best thread ever. It made me look for him. He's 71 now. Lives in Philly. I'm preparing a very large message to his Facebook. This is therapy shit!! lol
This is an awesome thread and has potential to be around all offseason.
I've written about 110 of my most amusing stories over the years. When I get to a computer, I'll have to copy and paste a couple. Some of them I haven't read in years. :-)
You guys are all hilarious and amusing btw. Love the majority of these. [Reply]
Originally Posted by rico:
This is an awesome thread and has potential to be around all offseason.
I've written about 110 of my most amusing stories over the years. When I get to a computer, I'll have to copy and paste a couple. Some of them I haven't read in years. :-)
You guys are all hilarious and amusing btw. Love the majority of these.
