Q: Why did the blonde nurse bring a red marker to work?
A: In case she had to draw blood!

Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?
A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!

What does a coke machine and Monica Lewinsky have in common ???


They both accept "bills" !!!!

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.

Q: What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have?
A: One that never misses a period.

Q: Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists?
A: The rest are hunt'n peckers.


A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!" In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"

The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"
"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.

Dear God !!! What have I started here ???



:-)

Q: How do you tell if a bleach blonde did your landscaping?
A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.

Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an "F" in sex.

A blonde got fired at an M&M's factory...



She kept eatting all the W's.........

Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.

Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.

Q: What is a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme!

Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They've never met.
A: Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"?
A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".

Did you hear the one about the blonde who thought that "love handles" referred to her ears?

BLONDE TERMINOLOGY



Anally -- occurring yearly
Artery -- study of paintings
Bacteria -- back door of cafeteria
Barium -- what doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel -- letter like A.E.I.O.U
Caesarian section -- district in Rome
Cat scan -- searching for kitty
Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her
Colic -- sheep dog
Coma -- a punctuation mark
Congenital -- friendly
D&C -- where Washington is
Diarrhea -- journal of daily events
Dilate -- to live long
Enema -- not a friend
Fester -- quicker
Fibula -- a small lie
Genital -- non-Jewish
G.I. Series -- soldiers' ball game
Grippe -- suitcase
Hangnail -- coat hook
Impotent -- distinguished, well known
Intense pain -- torture in a teepee
Labour pain -- got hurt at work
Medical staff -- doctor's cane
Morbid -- higher offer
Nitrate -- cheaper than day rate
Node -- was aware of
Outpatient -- person who had fainted
Pap smear -- fatherhood test
Pelvis -- cousin of Elvis
Post operative -- letter carrier
Protein -- favouring young people
Rectum -- damn near killed 'em
Recovery room -- place to do upholstery
Rheumatic -- amorous
Scar -- rolled tobacco leaf
Secretion -- hiding anything
Seizure -- Roman emperor
Serology -- study of knighthood
Tablet -- small tablet
Terminal Illness -- sickness at airport
Tibia -- country in North Africa
Tumor -- an extra pair
Urine -- opposite of you're out
Varicose -- located nearby
Vein -- conceited

OK... YOU WIN !!!! :-)

Never f**k with me. You can't win.

Let's go bowling !!!


:-)