Or at least good for a chuckle. Here's something completely different (for this BB). This thread is dedicated to ONLY CLEAN JOKES. Please post any clean joke that you find funny or at least amusing. We will not call you "dorks." Not in this thread. Let's see what you've got,... and share them.
Don't worry about repeat jokes. Nobody has time to check all posts. [Reply]
Originally Posted by RedNeckRaider:
A cruise ship sank and only three people were able to swim to the nearest island they were Bob, Tom, and Debbie. The island was deserted and be stuck there over time natures urges took over and the three of them began having sex. As time passed Debbie began to feel terrible about having sex with two men she did not love and she took her life. This was very tragic for Bob and Tom but after time natures urges once again took over. After awhile Bob and Tom felt terrible about what they were doing so.......
A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this she can't stand it any longer! The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why.
The supervisor is puzzled by this and says what's wrong with the co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?
The woman replies, "He's a midget"! [Reply]
Originally Posted by blazzin311:
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most
beautiful woman boarding the plane.
He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat
right beside his.. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?"
She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Chicago."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs. Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"
"Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."
"Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"
"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of
all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.
Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best.
I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck..."
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really
be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name."
"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba."
The Lone Ranger and Tonto go camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fall sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, 'Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?'
The Lone Ranger replies, 'I see millions of stars.'
'What that tell you?' asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, 'Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow..... What's it tell you, Tonto?'
'It tell me you dumber than buffalo chip. It means someone stole tent.' [Reply]
3 men go to heaven and got a form of transportation based upon how faithful they were to their wives while on earth.
The first man said yea he was very faithful and never even thought about another woman because he loved his wife so much.....he got a corvette to sport around in Heaven.
The second man said he had been faithful most of the time, but he did have only one weak moment and was very regretful afterward.....he got a chevy truck to drive around in Heaven.
The third man said he had to admit he was a dog and unfaithful to his wife all the time....He got a bicycle to ride around on.
One day the man who had the truck and the man with the bicycle were sitting and talking and saw the man with the vette sitting on the top of his car crying his eyes out. They said "whats wrong man, your in heaven got this vette was faithful and loving to your wife, why are you crying."
The man replied " I just saw my wife go by on a pair of rollerblades". [Reply]
Crazycoffee, Claythan and Hootie are all at a sports bar drinking beer when suddenly a bus crashes into the front of it and kills all three of them. They all go to heaven where St. Peter explains the rules of the probationary period.
St. Peter stated that all three of them must walk around necked for 30 days and if any of them had an impure thought, their wings would fall off and they would drop to hell.
A week into it, the three had done an astounding job not having any impure thoughts when suddenly, out of no where a beautiful brunette woman walks by. Crazycoffee tried to look away and not have any unjust thoughts of lust but alas, his wings fell off and he dropped to hell.
Well, after seeing this, both Claythan and Hootie were scared straight to say the least. Unfortunately, to Hooties demise a beautiful red headed woman walked by. She was absolutely gorgeous and he could not help it. Suddenly his wings fell, thinking quickly however, he bent over to grab them and suddenly Claythan lost his wings. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Gonzo:
Crazycoffee, Claythan and Hootie are all at a sports bar drinking beer when suddenly a bus crashes into the front of it and kills all three of them. They all go to heaven where St. Peter explains the rules of the probationary period.
St. Peter stated that all three of them must walk around necked for 30 days and if any of them had an impure thought, their wings would fall off and they would drop to hell.
A week into it, the three had done an astounding job not having any impure thoughts when suddenly, out of no where a beautiful brunette woman walks by. Crazycoffee tried to look away and not have any unjust thoughts of lust but alas, his wings fell off and he dropped to hell.
Well, after seeing this, both Claythan and Hootie were scared straight to say the least. Unfortunately, to Hooties demise a beautiful red headed woman walked by. She was absolutely gorgeous and he could not help it. Suddenly his wings fell, thinking quickly however, he bent over to grab them and suddenly Claythan lost his wings.
No matter what this husband did in bed, his wife never achieved an
orgasm. Since by Jewish law a wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they
decide to consult their Rabbi.
The Rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the
following suggestion: 'Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you
are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you. That will
help your wife fantasize and should bring on an orgasm.'
They go home and follow the Rabbi's advice. They hire a handsome young
man and he waves a towel over them as they make love. It does not help
and the wife is still unsatisfied. Perplexed, they go back to the Rabbi.
'Okay,' he says to the husband, 'Try it reversed. Have the young man make
love to your wife and you wave the towel over them.'
Once again, they follow the Rabbi's advice. They go home and hire, the
same strapping young man.The young man gets into bed with the wife and
the husband waves the towel. The young man gets to work with great
enthusiasm and soon she has an enormous, room-shaking, ear-splitting
screaming orgasm.
The husband smiles, looks at the young man and says to him triumphantly,
'See that, you schmuck? THAT'S how you wave a towel!!' [Reply]