Or at least good for a chuckle. Here's something completely different (for this BB). This thread is dedicated to ONLY CLEAN JOKES. Please post any clean joke that you find funny or at least amusing. We will not call you "dorks." Not in this thread. Let's see what you've got,... and share them.
Don't worry about repeat jokes. Nobody has time to check all posts. [Reply]
OH MAH GAWD!!!! OH MAH GAWD!!!! THAT PANDA HAS STRUCK A DEAL WIT DA DEBBIL!!!! THIS FIRST EVER LIVE TLC PANDA MATCH HAS BROKEN INTO PANDA-MONIUM!!! [Reply]
A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits
down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has
a black eye, too. He says to him, 'Hey this is a coincidence, we both
have black eyes; mind if I ask how you got yours?'
The other guy says, 'Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister
accident. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde
with the most massive breasts in the world was there. So, instead of saying,
'I'd like two tickets to Pittsburgh ,' I accidentally said,
'I' d like two pickets to Tittsburgh'; so she socked me a good one.'
The first guy replied, 'Wow! This is unbelievable.. Mine was a tongue
twister too. I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my
wife, 'Please pour me a bowl of Frosties, honey.' But I accidentally
said, 'You ruined my life you evil, self-centered, fat-assed, bitch.' [Reply]
You may not know this. This is something you can tell to others, to show how smart you are.
Subject: MANURE
Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before commercial fertilizer's invention, so large shipments of manure were common.
It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the
process of fermentation began again, of which a by product is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen.
Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!
Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening.
After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term "Ship High In Transit" on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.
Thus evolved the term "S.H.I.T " , (Ship High In Transport) which has
come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day.
You probably did not know the true history of this word.
Neither did I.
Speaking of jokes... Got this in my student email late last night... The class this was sent to has about 300 students (auditorium class.) It's a humanities class called, "Intimate Relationships and Marriage."
dear class
we recently discussed the topic of sexuality in a relationship. after learning about this i began to think. im a single freshman at mizzou and i have been looking for love. ladies i bring alot to the table and i was just wondering if anyone out there wanted to show me the ropes. :-) if you fit the following description please email me :blonde under 6 foot with nice you know...features and great....assests!!! thanks for helping out a fellow classmate. see you guys in class!
love you
Justin "the ninja" cole
It was followed up about 6 hours later with the following:
Class, that was not me that was a prank by one of my roommates, it was pretty funny i would have to say so myself, but sorry never the less. [Reply]
