You're watching too much Sopranos.

:-) I see it now. Wow. That's a monster cock.

That's what she said.

Never watched the show :-)




:-)

Super Thai Hot Thursday!

Hilarious! I was going to post the same thing. Mr. Flopnuts has hella hot chicken phad thai in his future.

my body is getting tight, just sayin'

There is a very distinct odor in this room

Jesus lives in all of us, I hope he likes cheeseburgers because that's what we're having for lunch.

Told my wife the other day that I didn't feel like mowing the yard. Tried to make a deal with her:
If she mowed the yard, I wouldn't bug her for anal for the rest of the year.

I guess mowing is even more of a pain in the ass in her opinion.

My eyesight is really bad. Always has been. I'm talking, like 20/800, a diopter of almost -20, glasses thick as Coke bottles. Well, talking to my optometrist about optics and physics, he mentioned that, because of the thickness of the lenses, the world I see is 15% smaller than everyone else's. Literally, things look smaller to me. And my only thought was, "Wow, cool! So my dick is BIGGER than it looks to me? Sweet!" :-)

So turned on right now.

My boss just called me from his house to inform me that he had to take a sh*t break. Nice.

Today's "Thing That Annoys Me For No Good Reason": the musical group The Killers. I use the term "musical group" loosely. Naming this band of crappy guys The Killers is like naming a Chihuahua "Bonecrusher". The Killers? Really? You guys are gayer than frigging Coldplay and more pretentious than the love child of Sting and Bono. "Are We Human Or Are We Dancer?" What the f**k? And that new piece of shit you have out, something about "Fairytale" (can't get gayer than "fairytale" in a title), oh my God, what a bunch of precocious lyrics in that turdfest. Lyrically and musically they're like eating 25 Taco Bell burritos and a bottle of Maalox and then taking a crap.

Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis