Nothing like turning a small mishap in to an attempted murder..course, something like that occurs in Douglas County, the courts would charge the driver with failing to signal while turning.
Originally Posted by frankotank:
somewhere in here I posted this guys site.
the dude is hilarious. honestly....I doubt this is the funniest one....there's a bunch of 'em
Oh my god, I'm dying. Viking baby grave.... :-):-)
Originally Posted by :
Rocks
On Saturday, Holly and I argued about gardening despite neither of us being in our late seventies. Earlier that morning, she had announced that she was going to build a rock garden on the bare patch of lawn in our backyard.
When Holly is bored and has nothing to do, it usually affects me in horrific ways such as being forced to play Trivial Pursuit or taking the dog for a walk so, as I had a lot of work to do that day, I replied "That sounds like a good idea." Within twenty minutes I was consigned to carrying rocks and piling them a few metres from where Holly planned to build her rock garden.
"Wouldn't it make more sense for me to place them where you want in the rock garden?" I asked.
"No," Holly replied, "then when someone visits and says, 'I like your rock garden' I wouldn't be able to say I built it myself."
"You're not building it yourself," I countered, "I'm the one digging up rocks and carrying them, you are just pointing at which rocks you want."
"If I had some kind of machine that could lift the rocks for me then I wouldn't need you," she argued, "you're not contributing to the design, you're just a tool. Like a shovel or a wheelbarrow."
Slightly annoyed at this, I left Holly to it. A few hours later, she declared her rock garden complete and that I should come marvel at it and shower her with praise.
In the middle of the lawn stood a small pile of rocks. I saw a documentary once about Vikings and it showed them burying their dead by piling rocks on top of the body. The rock garden looked like a Viking grave for a cat or possibly a small dog.
"Wow," I said and meant it. "So, no ferns then?"
"It doesn't need ferns," Holly replied looking annoyed. "It's a rock garden, not a rock and fern garden."
"I'm no gardening expert," I ventured, "but I'm fairly certain rock gardens are allowed to include plants. Perhaps just one or two to counter the whole 'Viking baby grave' thing..."
"The whole what?" asked Holly. "Don't take this the wrong way" I went on, "It looks great, but don't you think it maybe, just a little bit, looks like a Viking grave?"
"What do Vikings have to do with gardening?" Holly spat. "It's not a fucking boat."
A few days later, Holly's parents visited and as they walked into the backyard, her father asked, "Why is there a pile of rocks on your lawn? Are you going to make a rock garden?" And her mother added, "You should be careful when you move them, snakes like living in places like that."
