So, I'm not really happy...on the surface things seem great, I have a decent job, Chiefs are kicking ass, I have a nice crib in the country, a couple cars, play some music on the weekends...
But I'm absolutely depressed. I miss my daughter, I miss my ex-girlfriend, Brittney...
I want to move to NY, but I have to wait for my job.
So, it seems like I'm stuck here, at least for a bit...
Not much is bringing me pleasure, I was so depressed today at work...I get weird thoughts, not like I want to hurt myself, but just...musings on the pointlessness of going to work every single day, just to pay to exist, just to really pay for the kid that I never see...
I'm actually pretty damn lonely, even in a roomful of people.
Originally Posted by Rasputin:
This gets me a lot. Even though my kids are adults when they were young my wife kidnapped them to Ohio with this jackass she met online. Lot of things happened to me as a child and in my adult years and past creeps up worst times when I'm stressed. Nightmares & alcohol and I've been called bi-polar but never diagnosed, I have been diagnosed with severe depression and Suicide Ideology with several attempts including 3 since August 2021. Shame comes with depression and after the fact shame doesn't go away. Therapist is having me do a time line of my life and it brings shit up when I was little till I was shot at July 30 about 4:50am getting away from my GF over zealous husband.
It's not that I hate life I love my kids and family and GF and fishing and my favorite football team the Kansas City Chiefs may have heard of them idk.
I hate myself for no reason or reasons I don't understand but I tend to cycle and overdose and wake up in the hospital because someone calls the cops to check on me. People have it worse than me and I work with patients that are stuck in the mental hospital till they die. I'm afraid of ending up like that.
I probably shared too much but this is also therapeutic for me and if it helps a friend out or anyone then I'm glad to share.
you seem to have the right restless energy and intelligence to get away with some sweet crimes like high end burglary. you'll need to focus which will help stop the thoughts your about you and it will be thrilling. the big plus being the potential financial freedom. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Cave Johnson:
Y’all a bunch of crazy MFers.
I'd probably less crazy if I had a 20" cock and used it to drill supermodels on the sandy beaches of Belize, but we all ain't got it like you, Crave. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Buddy Rich:
you seem to have the right restless energy and intelligence to get away with some sweet crimes like high end burglary. you'll need to focus which will help stop the your about you and it will be thrilling. the big plus being the potential financial freedom.
Originally Posted by rabblerouser:
I'd probably less crazy if I had a 20" cock and used it to drill supermodels on the sandy beaches of Belize, but we all ain't got it like you, Crave.