Things I pondered while watching "Dick Clark's Whatever The Fuck They Call It New Year's Eve" on ABC....
- I don't care if she peed her pants, I'd fuck Fergie sideways.
- Same goes for Jennifer Hudson. She's still got some meat, but looks good.
- While I'm at it, those dancer chicks in the big blue panties looked good too.
- In my adulthood, I think "New Years Eve" is getting added to the list of "Things I Thought Were Way Cool When I Was A Kid, But Now Think Are Lame".
- Because I am old, and have a penis, I could not name a single song that New Kids On The Block or the Backstreet Boys ever sang. And it was kind of pathetic to watch a bunch of chubby older guys singing "teen" songs. But it was kind of cool having both of them out on stage at the same time. (And the only thing I said to myself was, "Hey... Doesn't that dude with the sunglasses play Tom Selleck's detective son on 'Blue Bloods'?")
- All things considered, Dick Clark looks and sounds better than he did last year. He seems more "with it" and his voice was a little better. Given how old he is and what he's been through, he's certainly holding up better than the Cryptkeeper Al Davis.
- Whoever that chick was next to the other chick--wait, the other chick was Ryan Seacrest--anyway, as the ball dropped it was the guys from the two boy-bands, Seacrest, and some singer-chick with "2011" glasses on and blue lipstick who practically screamed, "I want to be Lady Gaga". When she took those glasses off... dayum, was she ugly. And then I thought, "Wait a minute... I think that's a dude in drag." Nasty.
- Today is officially 1/1/11. You know what that means: tons of Asians at the casinos.
Local sports radio station had a good point today. Talking about Mike "Dogkiller" Vick. Never mind about the league MVP... they pointed out that he doesn't even deserve Comeback Player of the Year Award. That it should go to someone who, oh, actually CAME BACK from something, like Wes Welker. Why the fuck should Dogkiller get the CPOTY award? There are THREE reasons: the first, and most obvious, is that he "came back" from being in jail, which was his own damn fault because he broke the law. The second, is that last season it wasn't like he was injured or something; he was simply a backup QB. The third, and best point, is that the only reason he would get such award is because his numbers are great only when in comparison to his early career--in other words, he was a lazy-ass fuck who robbed Atlanta of tens of millions of dollars, and only NOW when he decided to actually TRY harder at his job did he show the fulfillment of hsi promise... so why should he be rewarded with CPOTY for being a lazy-ass underachieving fuck earlier in his career?
And none of this has anything to do with my personal feelings, which are that he's a piece of shit human being someone should put a bullet in, he's totally disingenuous when he said he's "learned his lesson", and everyone falling over themselves to slobber his knob--from Barack Obama to Roger Goodell--needs an ass-kicking.