Where's the newspaper boy? Wishing he'd come by and deliver me some good news.

you could chop off their heads or burn them

I prefer stacking stones on their chest.

Carrots up the anus cavity is always a good one too.

:-)

No, it was definitely the food.

1.) Undercooked calamari.
2.) Nachos with Cheez Whiz.
3.) Undercooked tuna steak sandwich.

Could've been any one of the three or a combination thereof. All I know is, I'll never go back to that place again.

And on that note... I'd like to take a minute of everyone's time for a public service announcement. There are many wonderful things on this planet. The sound of a baby's laugh. Blowjobs. Egg McMuffins. Sunsets in Key West when you're on vacation and hammered. The sound of a pump shotgun. But there are few things in life as beautiful or amazing as Imodium. If you've never tried it, friends, let me tell you, it's fucking amazing. It comes in liquid form, as well as a pill. The pill is around the size of a grain of rice, literally. And you'd think the pill couldn't do much of a job, especially not when compared to the liquid. But, I'll tell you, this stuff is beyond belief. One pill, so small that you can barely fumble the thing out of the package and into your mouth, and your shit turns from soft-serve to rock-hard. Next to turning water into wine or lead into gold, it's one of the most amazing transformations known to mankind. Seriously, run out to Taco Bell right now and get nine burritos, and swing by your all-night drugstore for some Imodium, and test it out.

after awhile if celery comes out their mouth you know you did your job right

Well, its alot easier than dunking.

yep, old school

Teh Cheeze whiz...definitely.

I eat "undercooked" calamari and tuna all the time without adverse affects. Its the way they are supposed to be cooked.

I blame the whiz..

i like running naked drunk thinking im being followed by a mob of people.

Even if I hadn't gotten sick, they lost me at the Cheez Whiz anyway. No self-respecting nacho plate should have freakin' Cheez Whiz on it. If you can't spend the cash to put actual shredded cheese on them, don't serve them, fer crissake.

especially around the hollidays

That was a sin.

Seriously, it could have been the fish and thats a shame. Any place that would serve cheez whiz on Nacho's is not gonna go out of their way to prepare fresh seafood. Now you will only eat rubber squid and dried tuna and miss their fresh flavors. Might as well eat them from a can. Tuna should be served rare and calamari should be cooked for 30 secs to one min max or they go to rubber.

Around the holidays, I like to hang ornaments on my junk, light myself up with lights and charge up onto the stage at Christmas Mass. Like I said, Im in the Berkshires...they think nothing of it.