So, I'm not really happy...on the surface things seem great, I have a decent job, Chiefs are kicking ass, I have a nice crib in the country, a couple cars, play some music on the weekends...
But I'm absolutely depressed. I miss my daughter, I miss my ex-girlfriend, Brittney...
I want to move to NY, but I have to wait for my job.
So, it seems like I'm stuck here, at least for a bit...
Not much is bringing me pleasure, I was so depressed today at work...I get weird thoughts, not like I want to hurt myself, but just...musings on the pointlessness of going to work every single day, just to pay to exist, just to really pay for the kid that I never see...
I'm actually pretty damn lonely, even in a roomful of people.
Originally Posted by Sweet Daddy Hate:
Dude, when do you get off of the UA train? I'm starting to think you're one of those folks who needs their smoke. Badly.
Originally Posted by rabblerouser:
10 months...but it's more than that.
It's everything, I ruined my entire life.
So it's clear to you that your life is in ruins. Many of us have come to understand the blessing of that sort of clarity.
Now you get to throw out all the useless shit that hasn't worked, and rebuild from the foundation up.
Let go. Breathe. I mean it. Breathe. Take a few minutes, turn off all the noise and concentrate on breathing. You've been doing it as long as you've been alive. Now take in fresh bits of your new life with each breath. When you're feeling out of balance, just spend a few moments really experiencing your breathing. In this simple, usually unconscious action you spend this present moment inhaling that which will sustain you in the future, and exhaling that stuff from your past that is no longer useful.
Don't lose the faith, brother. We need and want you here.
By the way, fucking weed was one of the host of things that didn't work. Don't even bother trying to lie to yourself about that. [Reply]
Get away from all social media. Turn off your computer, put down your phone and get engaged with people and with the outdoors. Join some clubs, volunteer your time, find some new friends, take on a project inside/outside your house, find a new purpose for being here. It is going to be ok, but you have to be the one to make the move. The internet and social media aren’t your friends right now. They’re just places to continue to bury yourself in solitude. You need real interaction outside your home.