:-) This synopsis of their version of story mode is hilarious. What a shit game.
Early game story spoilers below. I don't talk about anything until you hit college games.
No decisions anybody makes at any point in the story mode make any sense whatsoever. Not the coaches, not Tommy, not your created player, nobody. They're all idiots. It's almost like they know they're in bad script and just go along with things without ever stopping to think about it. I was yelling at my screen like it was a bad horror movie and I was watching them all decide to split up to cover more ground.
So you meet Tommy Matthews in high school. He's the star Quarterback and you're the backup who's never played football before. No seriously, they mention that you're a hockey player. Really no decently sized high school has anybody on the squad who might know the plays and can toss the ball a few yards? Aite whatever coach it's your football team.
But right away, Tommy's a HUGE asshole. And not even in a fun high school bully kind of way. He talks shit about everyone he meets, most of the time right to their faces. He belittles people he thinks are beneath him and he thinks everybody's beneath him. He's a real piece of shit, without even any kind of sympathy angle like he has an abusive dad or something. Classic narcissist. I am really hammering this point home because it cements how utterly stupid this story is as it goes on.
Tommy tells you in confidence about his secret heart condition. He didn't want to but he's literally fainting and falling over in the locker room. He straight up tells you that his doctors don't think he should play. Where are this kid's parents? Actually wait I don't care I hope they're at the bottom of a ravine because fuck Tommy.
You tell your high school coach that Tommy has a heart condition. This is a decision you can't actually make in the game of course, which is a shame because I would have kept my mouth shut and let that scrawny egomaniac die on the field. So they bench him because he might literally die if he plays football. Tommy somehow thinks this is all your fault. He chews out his coach, and might as well wave the double birds on the way out the door.
But anyway, you take his place while he's out of commission and start kicking ass. You're clearly a really good quarterback and college scouts start talking to you. Turns out you were good at this football thing the whole time, neato. But then he comes back from heart surgery, and Tommy tells his high school head coach and the starting QB that he didn't want to come back because he's still angry. But no other team would take him because of his heart condition.
So let me get this straight. A guy walks in uninvited to a team he doesn't play for while they're watching film. The last time they saw him he left in a blind rage and told them he was quitting. He makes it clear he's not sorry about anything he said, hasn't had any change of heart, and is still generally just a real big diarrhea diaper baby. Not only does he not apologize, His FIRST comment walking into the room is talking about something on film that you fucked up and he could have done better.
Oh also he says he wants to play Wide Receiver now. Fucking what? No talk about if he's played the position before. No conversation between you and your coach in private about whether or not you want him as a target. No talk about how the other receivers on the team feel about getting bumped down a spot or two to make room for him. And of course absolutely no talk about his incredibly toxic locker room behavior. And of course your coach is psyched to bring him back! He's back on the squad. Fuck.
Then Tommy comes in and is like, yo, all those scouts are going to be out there. Could you pass me the ball a bunch so I look like a superstar? Could you just ignore the part where I was an asshole to you in literally every interaction we've ever had. And also every interaction you've seen me have with another human person?
But of course because he's the best receiver on your team by a landslide. When you actually get in the game he's always open and you'll probably pass to him a bunch. Because you're playing a damned football angel who gives Tommy every chance to be a better person. It's like he's your abusive ex boyfriend you keep letting back into your life and he keeps punching you right in the nuts.
So whatever, now you're both on the field and you've got this sweet dynamic duo nickname of "the heartbreak kids." Isn't that cute? So you win the high school championship and you've both got offers on the table to go wherever you want. Both of you are at the same table deciding what college to go to and you pick a college. Yay!
Then Tommy picks the same college you do no matter what you pick. He's going to the same college football team as you. And Tommy says to the small crowd gathered around that he can't break up the heartbreak kids, and he wouldn't be as sucessful without you at the helm. And the crowd literally goes "AWWWWwww."
And there's a split second when watching this part that I thought about the story from a meta perspective. We've got this sweet nickname for the duo. You're passing like 4 touchdowns a game to this weasel. He's got the scouts with eyes on him and he's taking his next step to being a pro ball player. Maybe the 'rivalry' drama is finally over and they'll introduce a new villain linebacker on a rival team or something. Somebody who'll flatten Tommy on a slant route or injure you with a sack. Or maybe your college coach will be the new villain. They're not gonna keep going with this Tommy bullshit are they?
That's when this motherfucker, who played up how close you are to the cameras, leans in and whispers in your ear. He tells you he's only going to the same college as you so he can take your quarterback spot from you and get you demoted just like he thinks you did to him. He's Batman and you're Robin (ACTUAL LINE HE SAYS).
That's when I knew that this monster was gonna be with you the whole game. I was immediately depressed. This can't be the story mode right? But then it gets worse.
You go to college, and turns out the head coach just retired. The new coach used to be the defensive coordinator. He says he doesn't give a fuck about the offence. He's going to rotate both of you in and out as quarterback because who gives a shit. He'll pick the QB he likes best. Or maybe he won't. Fuck you.
This would make sense if you were both great quarterbacks from different high schools or something. But for the last few seasons Tommy has either been out of commission because of his peach-pit of a blood pumper, OR been wide receiver one catching one-handers and eating defensive backs for breakfast. And then the quarterback who's been throwing to him who's got future hall-of-famer written all over him despite having been a hockey player till his senior year.
This coach is so fucking stupid that it makes your last coach look like John Madden himself. And no matter how well you play out there during your time as quarterback, even if you win your games 70 to 0, the coach decides at some point in the story to start Tommy Matthews as the quarterback. Congratulations EA, you let the Villain win.
Now you have to either quit college football and go to the NFL early, where your coach tells you you'll probably be like a third round pick or a career backup (again, no matter how well you actually play when the ball is in your hands). Or, you can switch positions and do what Tommy did, going to wide receiver or running back. Again, Tommy wins. He follows you to college just to betray you and get his position back, and he succeeds in this. No matter how well you play.
TLDR: This mode was written by an idiot. Fuck you Tommy Matthews. Fuck you coach Fetu Vaitai. Fuck you coach Red O'Brien. And Fuck you EA. #FixMaddenFranchise
[Reply]