:-) If that's real, it's fucking hilarious. If not, it's still mildly funny.

The news here on the east coast comes on at 11pm. I only watch our CBS affiliate. But at 10pm the CBS affiliate does an early-news show on Fox, because our Fox affiliate is too cheap to have their own news crew. So at 10pm I turn on Fox, and get the 20-inning Mets/Cards game. When that ends, there's no news, so I switch to CBS... and they're running late due to the MMA fights. Apparently I'm not destined to watch the news. The top story must be my wife fucking everyone in the neighborhood or something...

Okay, was that MMA shit for real just now, or was that some wrestling-type acting bullshit?

I signed up for a mma fight once. The whole time i was getting my ass kicked i couldn't stop thinking about this horrible cake i ate over the weekend. The frosting tasted like gun powder. Plus i'm afraid of heights.
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Have you ever taken the time to just stop, look around (at your life), and wonder how you got here and if it's where you're supposed to be?

I've read this twice now in the last couple of minutes. You alright?

To answer your question, sometimes. But I think it's a waste of time. Would've been, could've been, and should've been are nothing more than obstacles we place for ourselves on the road of life.

Spending too much time thinking about the past or even the future is detrimental to right now. And what you're doing right now is the only thing that matters. It's the only thing that will get you where you want to be, which of course, is where you should be.

Are you where you want to be right now?

I've been asking myself the same question a lot lately.

Answer? I don't know.....and it's kinda scary.

I know. I've been there. Take your time. We get older, priorities change. Interests change. If you're not happy, you have the tools to change it. But remember, the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I've struggled with that lesson the hard way more than once.

But seriously, I hope you can just forget about yesterday. It's long gone and it won't serve you anymore. Focusing on the past is how people sabotage themselves with guilt, and a failure's mentality. "I'm too old." Or, "I'm not smart enough." All bullshit we use to soothe ourselves over our unwillingness to try.

If I'm diving too deep, remember, you started it. :-)

Only when I wake up chained to a dirty flophouse radiator, naked, with a sore starfish.

But luckily that's only a couple times per month.

I was seriously considering going to school for medical coding. Then, I got to thinking....

Is it really something I want to do? Or is it just because I've been working with medical terminology for so long that it's just what I've become used to?

In looking at a local Vatterotte (sp) campus, I noticed that they offer a 90 credit associates degree for a paralegal. Research. Organization. That's so me. Is it really something I want to pursue? I pretty much know my job will be a dead end. It's just a matter of when. Do I have my ducks in a row to make a major change? Do I have to do it alone? I do everything alone.

See how my thoughts lead into other areas of my life that I have no control over? Ugh.

Okay. I'm whining. I know. Just need to get it out, and, somehow, talking to my cat isn't doing the trick.

If you're young, do it. Before you get pigeonholed and wake up at 40 wondering how the hell you ended up doing what you're doing. When you're young and not tied down (mortgage, kids, etc.,.), that's the time to take chances. Because if you fail, it's easier to live out of your car. :-)

So, you give me a timeline on top of everything? Great. Seven years to go.

:-)

Working from home will help you in your endeavor to go to school to learn a new trade. You also don't have to do everything overnight. Decide what's important to YOU and go about making it happen.

I capitalized you because you give me the impression of someone who spends their whole life worrying about everyone else's happiness, but never your own. You can't go through life like that and expect to be happy. If I'm way off, sorry I even brought it up.

I won't be able to go to school when I'm working from home. I'll still be working from 8-5, just not from an office. I'll have to find evening/online classes.

And, no, you're not far off. :-)

I agree, but I think it's a waste of time because a lot of people can't be brutally honest with themselves... when I struggled right out of college, I focused a lot on how it happened, but it was all external.... the job market, the school I went to, a couple of bad experiences out of my control at school, etc; and it wasn't until I held myself accountable that I started working hard to change things.

Not saying that it's necessarily your problem, luv, just agreeing with Flopnuts for the most part... people are very good at rationalizing their life away.