I just had a friend call, which isn’t that unusual, since other than my mother she’s about the only person who ever calls.
Chatting along and she’s talking about a higher power and the state of the country and her daughter. She sounds a little off, but she’s got some kind of respiratory infection, so I chalk it up to that.
Then she starts talking about her mom and how much she misses her. Mention her mom died at 48 after fighting cancer for 6 years, and how she wouldn’t be able to do that. We go back to regular stuff and then BOOM. I have cancer. WTF!
This woman is 43 and has stage 4 liver cancer and has opted out of the useless treatments. Apparently surgery isn’t an option because unbeknownst to me, she’s already had it twice.
I don’t have a clue what to say to this poor girl. I’ve abused my liver WAY more than she has, but apparently this shit is hereditary. Any suggestions on words? I suck at comforting words to someone when asked, “What are your plans?” responds with,”Sit here and die”.
As a bonus, other than her daughter, I’m the only one she’s told. [Reply]
I don't think there are any "right words". I'd say just talk to her like normal...just be a friend. Be there if she wants to talk. Let her steer the conversation there if she wants. There's no magic thing you can say to make it any better. Just keep being a friend. [Reply]
I’m that friend.
They trust you, no doubt. Just be patient and be there. As time passes you will become more confident in yourself and what you discuss with them.
You’re a great person or they wouldn’t have shared it with you.
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Have real, honest conversations. Help her look into things that help fight cancer like turkey tail mushrooms and olive oil. Hell, help her come up with meals and snacks that don't taste like ass and have this or that property in retarding cancer.
It's a good excuse to try foods that are actually good for you. And let's be honest, there's a good number of us here who'll be meeting this particular stranger sooner than we think... [Reply]
Thanks for all the words. I guess this is the part of getting old that sucks.
It’s the fact that she’s only 43 that’s killing me on this one. Well, that, and I can only talk to strangers on the internet about it. All the local people I know also know her, and I’m not about to start spreadin’ the news. [Reply]
It goes without saying, but FUCK CANCER. Both my parents passed from it, mom with pancreatic and dad from lung cancer. I mean, it just fucking sucks. I hope your friend has some other support besides you, just because the more the merrier. But yeah, just be there for her in any way you can. Be her friend. She needs that, or she wouldn't have told you about it.